Daily Life in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Travel Footwear

How to spot the Brazilian on your flight? Besides how close they are standing to the luggage carousel (see my rant on this from a year ago) after the flight of course?

The answer is: look at their feet! I think that flying might be the most impractical time to wear heels (carrying luggage, swelling from altitude, long days, lots of walking), but not everyone agrees! Within about three minutes I captured the following photos at the airport the other day:

This woman even had a BABY! Extra points for coordination - I don't even like to hold the Canadoca wearing heels at the HOUSE let alone while trying to juggle luggage...

Ok, maybe I understand this last one. It's important for your shoes to match your bag AND carry-on.
 

Want to Take a Course on Brazilian Culture?

I think I certainly should! In fact, I'm strongly considering it. Click here to link to the full story from the Gringo Times but the gist of it is that Lagoa's Casa do Saber is launching a ‘Brazil For Beginners’ course. It runs evenings, starting October 14th, and will cover subjects such as . I'm sure it will be R$360 well spent. Click here for the course page on Casa do Saber's site.

Unbelievable...

If you are a longtime loyal blog reader you will remember that about a year ago we had major problems getting a Brazilian passport for the Canadoca. Basically everything that could go wrong did and it took about 5 months. This is not a typical situation, but I'm proof that it can happen. Just FYI the procedure is much easier once an RNE is issued.

During this time, some sort of policy changed with the federal police, and I was able to travel with her last summer to Canada on just a Canadian passport, though I was previously told that taking her out of Brazil would be impossible without a Brazilian passport. At that time, when I went to check in for my flight the airline's staff was bewildered by this concept, not sure if they could allow me to travel, hadn't at that time encountered this scenario.  They sent a runner into the federal police to check if this was in fact possible, they confirmed it was. Despite the stress and confusion at the time, the girl I dealt with was very nice about it and I seem to run into her every time we go to the airport and she always remembers me. She checked us through again for this trip and once again we remembered each other.

However, it was my turn to be bewildered when she asked if she could ask me a question that did not pertain to security, but rather her personal curiousity, to which I replied of course. She wanted to know why the Canadoca had a Brazilian passport and seemed agitated about it. I told her that it was because she was born in Brazil and when she was born, she needed it to be able to travel outside of Brazil. She then went on to suggest that I should let the Canadoca's Brazilian expire so that I would not need a travel authorization each time I left the country without my husband. (She also admitted she was not quite sure of the laws, when pressed.) She seemed very bothered by the Canadoca having a Brazilian passport. I could not believe this, coming from someone who just a year ago almost didn't let me get on a plane without the Canadoca's Brazilian passport. For the record, I plan to renew it when we arrive home (it's only good for a year).

As is often the case in Brazil, the stories and policies are ever-changing and few have definitive answers... yet without the facts, everyone still seems to offer an opinion.

Twins and their Babas

This is not an uncommon scene in my neighbourhood - the sight of twin babies out with their two babas.

Now, if ever there would be a reason to have a full time Baba, it would be when one had TWINS. My goodness. But I always wonder when I see twins with twin babas, are they each assigned a particular twin, or do they switch back and forth? It would really suck if you got the "Evil twin" while the other baba sat there with angel baby.... or if they switch it up, how do they make it fair? Today you have twin a, tomorrow twin b? Mornings and afternoons? Hour by hour? Anyone know? The suspense is getting to me.

Little old ladies and storeclerks in Rio, this one's for you!

So... even upon arriving back in Rio, I was tsk tsk ed by a couple of old ladies for having the Canadoca in the refrigerator aisle... right. Um, did I mention we saw snow in Canada? Or that we took her on a zodiak boat in Patagonia when she was 4 months old?

Now - I will unleash my secret weapon in shutting these people up. A precious gift from my grandmother:

In Canada, we call this a toque. If you see a kid rocking out this one in the freezer section of a grocery store while being carried in a baby bjorn, chances are you've spotted me. Come say hi! Tell me she's cold, I dare you! ;)

BTW - you may be wondering what it will take for me to not be irritated by these "she's cold" people. Well, put it this way, once I stop seeing much bigger atrocities happening to children in Rio I might agree that people should make ensuring the Canadoca's temperature is stable a priority... these are the same people who turn a blind eye to kids selling stuff on the street, being mistreated, not having enough to eat, living in favelas, not getting adequate education, living on the streets.

Instead, my wish is that they would spend that energy doing something about those kids, please.

What you DON'T see in Rio

Topless women. Sorry guys, hope that does not impact your Brazilian vacation plans? You won’t see it here, unless you go to a specific nude beach down the coast... Reportedly women are regularly arrested for attempting it on Copacabana and Ipanema.

You will also be hard pressed to find:

• Underwire or support of any kind in a bikini top.
• Bikini Bottoms that cover 50% of each cheek. Just doesn’t seem to happen.

Oh, Detran

I have my Brazilian Driver's License now!

Went to Detran to pick it up. Figured out which of the 7 doors I was supposed to go in, found the area I was supposed to be in, found the guy to get my "number" from, watched the numbers go by for about 30 minutes until mine came up.

 

at which time, I went up to the desk to be told that I needed to go to the "estrangeiro" area (where we'd applied for the licenses months ago) to pick it up. Out one door, in another... to be told to go back to where I started from, get another number, wait again, as my license wasn't in the estrangeiro area either. I dug in my heels and refused. They went back down to where I'd started from, brought my license to me about 15 minutes later. 

Here's a novel idea - how about MAILING licenses out?

Taken

The other day my mother told me that she thinks she's gullible. She said that after living in small towns most of her life she is super trusting even when she shouldn't be, and believes people. I thought to myself, well, it's a good thing I'm in the big city, you know, I'm tough, I'm not gullible... I see through BS.

Right.

Fast forward a few days, and the babysitter comes over. She's super cute. She loves the Canadoca. The Canadoca loves her. I like this. I want things to be good with her.

She asks me if we can talk for a few minutes, very formally, then proceeds to tell me that her mother has moved away and she is now stuck paying for their living expenses. She gets teary eyed. She doesn't ask me for more money, but rather if I could ask around to get her a few more hours babysitting for friends of mine. Absolutely!

I immediately send out an email and within a few hours she has two new clients. I'm elated that such a small action on my part could result in so much improvement in someone's life and have renewed faith in mankind and the power to make a difference...

The next day, I find out from one of her new clients (in other words, someone I recommended her services to) that the babysitter is in fact planning to go away for one year, traveling. Leaving rather soon.

I don't know that the situation she described with her mother/living expenses is a lie per se, but given the ENTIRE story, I definitely felt misled. Not to mention a bit embarrassed to have recommended such temporary services to people when they may have been looking for something more long term. Of course there is never any guarantee of anything, but I like full disclosure, if you know what I mean!

So I thought about what to do - and struggled with it a bit. Do I still leave the Canadoca with her even though she wasn't totally honest with me? Do I trust her? In the end, I decided that one doesn't have much to do with the other - she has shown herself to be honest with me about her care of the Canadoca (in little situations where she's fallen, etc.) and I think she's doing a great job. I think this is a cultural thing. I hate to make grand sweeping generalizations but the Brazilians I've encountered are not eager to share news that they think someone won't like.

In the end, I'm happy for her, what an opportunity. I just wish she'd told me the full story in the first place ;) 

So I guess my mom's not the only gullible one...

Notes from Readers

I receive emails daily from readers of this blog. I really appreciate it all! Yes, even the ones that criticize the blog. For they too have their purpose...

This email in particular I wished to share with my readers, (its author OK'd it).

Trying to better understand Brazil, its culture and its citizens is a huge part of my journey. Emails like this help. So without further adieu...

"As I said in my commentary I found your blog on the site expat-blog. I was searching information about Canada (what a coincidence!), I study architecture at university and I’ve read somewhere that in Canada, as in Brazil, there is a huge market of work for people in my area (architecture/engineering). So that’s why I have interest in move for Canada. I was thinking if I should or not send this e-mail to you, but I decided it isn’t a big deal, if I had a blog I’d love to receive some of my readers.

Foremost I’d like to introduce myself, my name is X (18) and I study English for few years (about 3), so be tolerant with my English. I’ve read all your blog since the first post, and some comments of the visitors in the most “polemic” ones, I’m happy because I understood around 70% of everything you wrote. Of course I didn’t agree with every single opinion of yours, but I think you were very fair and exact in the most of the things you said, and that’s something very rare for a foreign – I say this by self experience. I “worked” as a volunteer in an Interchange company called AFS. For me it would be a good way to improve my English skills and make a kind of cultural share, I also hosted a boy from Germany for one year (the worst experience in my whole life). I can say I talked with many kind of people from many countries: Sweden, Canada, Australia, Germany, Italy, France, Indonesia, Iceland etc. Talk with them about Brazil was a frustrating experience, it was the same stereotyped vision (I’m truly tired of this), I think they weren’t mature enough for an experience like that.

In one of your posts you said something about Brazilians be very negative with their own country, I think it is absolutely true (with some exceptions), I usually say the patriotism of Brazilians is limited to football, for sure it is the only thing Brazil is 100% good in the world. It is very easy understand why Brazilians are very negative with Brazil. We see the problems of Brazil every day on TV: corruption, urban violence, drugs, pollution etc, add to this the fact of really few people say good things about Brazil, so it created a culture of “complaint”, people sit on their chairs in front of the TV, or in bar, hear the problematic news and just shake their heads (the most of times rolling their eyes) and say: “Oh, it just happens in Brazil, in a developed country it would never happens” or worst “This country isn’t a serious country… tsc tsc”, well, in my opinion it is the most typical Brazilian, and it is the type of Brazilians that Brazil doesn’t need. The most of people here ignores the situation of our “neighbors” in South America, mostly of them with a worst situation than Brazil. My uncle works in a oil company, he lived in Angola (also speaks Portuguese) for two months, and he said he looks different for the Brazilian poverty after know the real poverty there, the favelas in Brazil are bad, but I dare to say it is a better situation than the mostly slums in Africa and India, for exemple, here the favelas has a small (but present) structure, with sidewalks, small hospitals, schools, a modest trade, lan houses and also banks (the example in the bank Bradesco in the Heliópolis favela, São Paulo)! While in the other countries they literally lives over their garbage. I can be wrong, but it is how I think.

It’s difficult be proud of Brazil (and it is not my case, I love my country and I know the exact position of Brazil in the world) when the people has the addiction of say bad things about the country, minimizing the good things and maximizing the problems. Many Brazilians has the puerile fantasy that the other countries in the world, specially Europe and North America are just perfect, and the wrong/bad things just happens in Brazil. We know that’s not true, I visited Portugal and I were really impressed with the newspapers, it could be perfectly a Brazilian newspaper, the same things: corruption, violence, poverty etc (in Portugal 18% – data of 2009 – of the population lives in misery, something difficult to understand, Portugal is member of EU). The corruption in Italy is the same or bigger than in Brazil, but nobody knows about it, right? We think Brazil is a very corrupted country (I’m not saying it isn’t true) because the people know it, the newspapers say the “secret” cases all the time, and in my opinion this freedom of expression is one of the positive things in Brazil. Some people say: “Oh, in the government of Lula there was much corruption”, I simply don’t agree, the difference of the Lula’s government and the government of the previous president (Fernando Henrique Cardoso) was because in Lula’s time we knew all the cases, while in the other government many of the news were censured or hidden. Your father said the drivers here are mad, well in Italy is twice worst, and Italy is a developed country.

In beginning I didn’t agree of Rio hosts the Olympic Games in 2016, for the same reasons of all people that were against: favela. Slums are the most shaming thing for me about Brazil, but now I’m 100% into the idea of those games here, and I totally agree with Lula when he said those games could make better the low self-confidence of the Brazilian people and their relationship with the nation. I am very impressed with all the projects for Rio, that goes beyond the stadiums and arenas. The security project let me with my mouth wide open, they will contract a company of NY to project the security system of Rio, this company is the same that made the project of the New Yorker security system in the government of Rudolph Giuliani. I know the current security in NYC isn’t the same of the Canadians cities, but ask any New Yorker and you will know the big difference of this before and after his government. Rio is planning with the help of the federal government the most modern department of public safety that already existed in Brazil. For you have an idea, they will install pickups sound of shots throughout the city. Just a shot sound be captured, the center will be immediately activated and the next cameras will monitor the location of the shot and within minutes a car will come to the site. This system exists only in Israel and in U.S. (If I’m not wrong). It is just about the security, the public transport (don’t forget the high speed train) and many other things will be improved.

When Rio de Janeiro won the games many television reporters of many countries arrived in the city to make a “special” about it, and the biggest example was given by an Australian television, they came here and just showed the worst side of Rio, the most deprived areas. OK, it will help a lot Rio with tourism. When I knew it, I were very sad, because as a writer said “being Brazilian is an ache”, this ache begins without much fanfare, partly in the belly, partly through the stomach. Then it goes and settles in the left breast. So It’s how the pain of being Brazilian looks like. Give up of Brazil is easy, but the pain of being Brazilian that’s more complicated. I just hope this e-mail don’t look very tireful for you, I liked very much your blog and how you write, and it is good to know your baby is partly Brazilian! But I want to say, before you move from Brazil, you need to travel to the historical cities in the state of Minas Gerais, such as Ouro Preto, Tiradentes, São João Del-Rey, Diamantina, etc."

I replied to my reader and asked him what he thought would help his country. Here is what he had to say:

"Well, I don't think there is a thing that can help, Brazil is in the right way to development now, if you read more about PAC you will find out, it is a program to improve many areas: health, education, security etc, it is like a list of goals, and some of those goals are already being made. This year it will be the presidential elections, an important step for the future in this moment we are living."

Getting A Brazilian Driver's License: Prepared for a Psychological Exam?

It was tempting to name this post "the biggest load of malarkey I have encountered in my two years living in Brazil" but I figured that I should at least try to keep on topic. Besides, I may need the title for something else in the future. 

Mostly for tax purposes (to keep ourselves at arm's length a bit from Canada and show our intent to stay in Brazil, as Mr. DRL's license was expiring, and he didn't want to get a new Canadian one), Mr. DRL and I both underwent the process for obtaining Brazilian driver's licenses. As to be expected, there were countless forms to fill out and fingerprints to be stamped, a few visits to DETRAN (the Brazilian version of the DMV or Registry as we'd call it in Canada) but we got through that part a few months ago. Since we had valid Canadian driver's licenses we did not need to do an actual driver's test behind the wheel, but we did complete small physical exams (eyesight, blood pressure, etc.) as a requirement.

Then, we had to take a 2 hour long psychological test. Which is where the malarkey comes in.For the record, I passed (surprised, are you? Maybe a little?). 

I arrive, fill in some paperwork, do some fingerprints, have my physical exam, meet some nice people (mostly young Brazilians, one other gringa), then am brought into a room with about 8 others to complete the exam. The instructor speaks a tiny bit of English, which is helpful. But before the exam begins she goes on a tirade in Portuguese about foreigners coming in and taking Brazil's oil resources, THEIR resources, and how if you were to go for a driver's test in another country there would be no help with translations. The part about the translations probably true, but not super for making us feel all that welcome/comfortable in this tiny room for two hours with all that hostility. But anyway!

The test is the biggest joke I have ever encountered. I was warned by Mr. DRL and a friend that it was bizarre but no amount of warning prepared me for it. Every opportunity I had I stealthily took photos to share with you. Because that is the only way you can ever understand begin to understand... what is involved to get a Brazilian driver's license. OH.MY.GOD.

Exhibit 1:

Pin the horseshoe on the??? No, I am not kidding, this was an actual multiple choice question on the test.

This part was interesting too - you had to put a tiny dot in each of the triangles on the line (far left box), then in the middle you had to complete a maze with a steady hand, finally on the right, put two small check marks in each box. I feel so much safer on Rio's roads knowing that the driver's have completed these crucial tasks.

The ducks were pretty funny too...

This page took the cake for me. Really, swastikas? Finger + Ring = Finger with ring on?

There was also a section of the test which required us to memorize items in a picture and write them down, and a bizarre exercise where we had to write matching straight small lines on a paper for a predetermined amount of time, then count them up. It's a mystery as to what they are looking for in that exercise? Is it better to have more lines or for them to be uniform? I went for more uniform and was glad after as I didn't have to count as many tiny little lines in the end but who knows?

The Reading List

I just finished The Brazil Reader, which I really enjoyed. It is a collection of letters, essays and stories all related to different aspects of Brazil's history. The way these pieces are written is very personal, more like stories than just your typical history book.

 

Next on my "learn more about Brazil" reading list:

After I finish this one which I am currently working on:

Not sure if I have blogged about this before, but it is possible to order books online from Amazon in the US and have them sent to Brazil - did it this fall!

2009 Rio Expat Survey Results: All about those Cariocas

I frequently get emails and comments from Brazilians letting me know that I've got it all wrong and that my perceptions are way off, I anticipate that this post may attract some attention of the sort. Try not to be offended. Most of these comments are very positive! Keep in mind that these are the results of a survey (which, by the way, I did not actually participate in!). I wanted to know what the expats think of the Cariocas they have come across. Specifically, I asked: Based on your encounters and experiences, what are your thoughts about Brazilians, or Cariocas? Are they friendly? All observations welcome!

Here is what the expats had to say:

• Based on only 5 months of living here I would say I have a split decision on this. Some Brazilians that I meet are friendl and willing to struggle through a conversation in rough Portuguese and others dont even try.
• I feel they are friendly and outgoing especially if you have a baby with you.
• God love em
• Warm, open, encouraging and with a commitment to joyfulness
• An incredible mix of people that create a culture that is vibrant, welcoming and exciting. I plan to retire here now. I keep a group of close friends in the US, but my friends in Rio have become more than 'friends' - they are family, and embrace me as such.
• Cariocas are very friendly once you get to know them. The trick is getting/having the opportunity to meet them.
• Friendly, helpful especially if i run into communication difficulties
• Very polite and helpful on the surface but rarely actually go the extra mile and develop true relationships. That may be due to the fact Rio is such a large city, so people are less patient with others sometimes and also that possible friends live so far away (especially through traffic) that it is hard to invest time in relationships. I think there is also a level of prestige through the city and closes people's minds to certain relationships, but hard to say.
• Brazilians are the friendliest people in the world by far!
• I have a 5-month old baby... YEAH, friendly! "Ay meu deus, que bonitinho, que coisa mais linda, que fofa," and then that psspsspsspsspss sound that drives him wild. Can't imagine a friendlier spot for a baby.
• they are very casual, a bit more than I wuld like; this translate on being late, talking a lot louder than other nationalities, not caring for lanes or lines, not being consider for the non-smoking ones,
• Sometimes, they need some time to warm up with foreigners but then they are very friendly and interested in the other.
• In general, they are friendly people and are very helpful. However, when making friends with them it's difficult. Many are so attached to their existing friends and especially family (most have never lived outside of Rio). They are quick to criticize anything about their own or other countries ( and are a very passive people and don't seem to protest), but get extremely defensive if you insult theirs.
• Generally Carioca's are friendly however they can interfering too.
• Extremely friendly and are happy to assist as I cannot speak their language.
• Very friendly and helpful, somewhat too relax and takes time
• Very friendly, in particular if you speak Portuguese.
• Cariocas are an incredible mixture of beeing very friendly, always helpful, most affectionate with kids, relaxed, easy with laughing, but at the same time beeing ignorant, selfish and not able to use the indicators when driving their car. Walking in the lowest pace ever seen, but for what ever reason always in a hurry when crossing the streets? Not able to let you through with your stroller in this tiny supermarket alleys and never punctual. But I love the hugging and kissing and that they always take their time to chat.
• outgoing, open, friendly, sometimes insincere, straightforward about your appearance, talkative, malandros, fun, arrogant, beautiful
• Cariocas are generally friendly and informal. They do lack what Europeans and North Americans would consider "common courtesy" of saying "excuse me" or "I'm sorry" for pushing through a crowd or bumping into someone. They also are extremely reluctant to acknowledge a mistake and would instead argue with you, offering one excuse after another. This can be quite frustrating, particularly in the service industry. Also, traffic is chaotic because of the "me first" attitude combined with ignorance of traffic rules. Otherwise, life is good in Rio!!
• Brazilians don't seem to like to do things on their own - they seem to like to do everything in groups. The wealthy seem to grow up thinking that no rules apply to them and there is always a way around things. Personal responsibility seems to be a totally foreign concept. The poor seem to work really hard and get nowhere and the rich seem to get richer. Yes, in general, Cariocas are friendly and appreciate smiles and chatting.
• Cariocas (who definitely are different than many other Brazilians) are extremely cordial and friendly but only on the surface. It is nearly impossible to develop a friendship with a Carioca.
• Friendly with the ones that are co-workers, not so friendly if you do not speak their language and that is understandable.
• Very friendly and helpful especially if you test your portuguese on them :-)
• Open minded, open hearted, well traveled, fun loving, bothered by the security issues of there beautiful city, very proud of Brazil, in-direct about embarassing or confrontation topics, ie they would never tell you that your zipper is open
• Generally very friendly, although they generally have a low grade of commitment. Once you're in the family, you're in and will be "adopted' much more than is likely in Europe or North-America.
• Very friendly but it is difficult to form great relationships because of the language barrier.
• very friendly, but language is a challenge
• Love Rio and for the most part people are very friendly.
• Cariocas have a basic "unawareness" of others. Not necessarily rude, but just completely unaware.
• Yes, very friendly and helpful. Also, those that I met and became friends with, still keep in touch now that I've returned home.
• friendly, but offer unsolicited advice
• Super friendly, not straigth to the point like we are used to in the US
• Very friendly. But from what I hear - Brazlilians does not equal Cariocas - who are (I was told) different. My Brazilian friend from Sao Paolo once told me: when Paulista suggests 'let's have a dinner soon' you can be sure he/she will call you next week to fix the date. When Carioca tells you the same.. you can be sure he/she will never call you...
• Yes, I would say they are mostly friendly. The ones who you know will be very polite and thoughtful towards you, will invite you to their homes, to go out and do things, they make you feel comfortable and valued. They also will be quite honest with you, and sometimes might even ask a favor, or pop in on you unexpected.
  
  People on the street, just passing by are a little different. Some are kind and will help you if you drop something, etc. Yet there are others who instead of moving out of the way, will plow right into you (even if you are 8 months pregnant). The people who we know that work at the different stores and restaurants that we frequent are always very kind and talkative, know our names, make us feel like regulars. And as you know, having a child is a huge plus...everyone, really without exception, seems to adore young children. Even the some of the camelos at the beach who sell globo biscoitos or picoles, etc., some remember my son and always stop by to say hello and talk to him. Not to try to sell anything, but just to say "oi", a lot of them even remember his name (and his team of course). The sales people that work on commission at a lot of retail stores are annoying but try to be helpful.
  
  Another thing is that Cariocas are very fun-loving. I have never seen so many sunrises in my life as I have living here...before child, we used to go out to the beach in the afternoon and meet friends, and then that would turn into a sundown drink somewhere, and that would lead to another place, and another...the endless "saideira" (the last one) and sometimes we just never made it home until the next morning, still in our beach attire... here it is SO diffficult to plan on what you should wear or bring...because you never know what a simple drink or beach day can end up being. They love to be spontaneous. They are are also uninhibited...they don't have the body issues that americans have. They are more at home in their skin. At the beach, everyone wears a bathing suit...no shorts or cover-ups...they are not shy about their bodies. And people are comfortable to dance or sing and not feel silly or embarassed. And they love to greet you warmly, with two kisses, sometimes a hug, holding your hands or putting arms around you...very warm, and so different from the US. Friends calls each other "amor"... I am still learning a lot from this, it took a while to relax, but it is a great thing.
  
  Beauty/upkeep is a huge and annoying thing here too. Sometimes I wish I could just leave the house looking like crap but people just don't do that here. How you look, how you dress, how your nails are, really does matter here. On one hand, that is a good thing...but on the other, it is so much time and money and energy.
  
  Interesting thing...I have met a great many Brasilians/Cariocas over the past 7 years (since my husband is Carioca and lived here his whole life) and one of the LAST things they want to discuss is what they do for a living or what you do for a living. I have no idea what a lot of relatives here and friends of friends do, simply because it is not talked about very much. People like to talk about anything...except work it seems. Work doesn't define "you".
  
  One last thing to close...a funny observation. Living here, a least once or twice a day we get solicitors calling...usually from a company or place that we use or deal with. It is annoying. However, if my husband answers the phone, he will sit on the phone for 10 minutes, just listening to the pitch...too polite to hang up. I see this with friends and inlaws too, they don't want to be rude to these phone solicitors. Where I say "nao posso falar agora" and hang up... most people will talk to them, even on their cell phones when they are paying money for the incoming call. It is funny.
  
  Ahh, must add, I did live in the North East of Brasil (Fortaleza) for 4 months a few years ago. The people there are nowhere as nice and fun as the Carioca's...there is no comparison. Life in Rio is better and people are lighter and happier.
• Friendly until they get behind the wheel!
• Nice but immature, meaning that as a society cariocas seem to have stopped developing socially as teenagers. I know that is a bit critical, but.....To interested in the superficials to have a meaningful conversation.
• Extremely friend and nice although not very punctual (punctuality is a bigger issue in Rio than in the rest of the country although be on time is not very popular anywhere)
• They are extremely friendly and amazing with children. They are unreliable socially - they either don't turn up or turn up very late with no notice. They are open-minded and helpful. They are very body conscientious!
• Friendly, lovely people on a superficial basis. Very different to Europeans, so hard to know on a deeper basis. Terrible drivers.
• Friendly, polite, helpful
• I thought they were very friendly and excited to share their culture with me.

Another question I asked was in regards to how many Brazilian friends each expat had made. Brazilians tell me all the time that they are the friendliest people in the world, but the numbers suggest otherwise! Nearly 50% of people surveyed have been befriended by less than five Brazilians. 5% have not made any Brazilian friends at all. Note: if I had completed the survey, my response to the question about what surprised me most upon moving here would have been how few Brazilian friends we have. It still surprises me! I can relate to those who responded saying that the language barrier makes meeting Carioca's very difficult.

The Bundchen Baby

Although many people come to Brazil thinking that they will find 100 million clones of Gisele Bundchen, there are even more reasons than ever to assure you that this is not at all the case. 

In fact, after reading this article in People, I am starting to wonder if she is Brazilian at all! She did not use any painkillers during the birth of her son (this is pretty much unheard of according to my OB, who also tells her expat clients regularly that they should give Brazilians lessons on "how to behave during childbirth"), opted for a natural birth (again, Brazil has one of the highest C-section rates...), and didn't NAME her child for several days after his birth (most Brazilians I have met who are pregnant find out the sex of the baby as soon as possible via blood test - before the ultrasound results are possible - then promptly name their child and start referring to them by their name from that point on!) 

Are we sure she is Brazilian?

How I Met Your Mother

Mr. DRL and I are addicted. It's pretty funny... I think most of the attraction for us is how much they make fun of the Canadian character in the show, the jokes about Canada are the best. We are a nation of self-depracators, that is for sure. (Every time Canada is made fun of in an American show it's almost a point of pride - they know we're here! They know we exist!)

We are currently watching Season 4, and in one of the episodes, Marshall makes some generalizations about different cultures. Brazil is mentioned, in the context of (forgive the not-exact wording, please) something to the effect of:

Everyone knows Brazilians put too much postage on their mail.

Now, having had numerous experiences with having to put what seems like an excessive amount of postage going on outgoing mail, I get why this idea might be out there... but I am certainly curious as to how this made it on the show! Of all of the generalizations to make about Brazilians. There must be a story there somewhere....

Deep Thoughts

Around a patio table earlier tonight in Ipanema (did anyone see the beautiful moon over Vidigal tonight? Amazing), we were talking about the use of fireworks in Rio... and how prevalent it is. And how none of us could think of a single place to buy fireworks. Anyone??

Explains the fear of Halloween?

This article is crazy. Maybe this explains why Halloween is so disliked here - the dead walk in Brazil on a normal day, why would we need a special day for it. Click the link but the gist of the story is that there was a man falsely identified by family members as being killed in a car wreck. He later showed up at his own funeral.

The key question that comes to mind: I wonder how much "paperwork" will be required to clean this mess up?

Tonight, On Oprah...

If you are here in Rio, try and catch The Oprah Winfrey Show on GNT at 8 pm. It will feature a segment on Rio de Janeiro. As Oprah runs about 2 weeks behind here in Brazil, I've already heard different things about this episode from a number of people back home, and therefore have had to try not to form too many opinions about what was featured until I see it for myself...  it is an episode about women around the world, and apparently a woman from Ipanema and her maid were interviewed for the Rio portion. To view some "after the show" questions asked, click here.

Also on Oprah's site about Rio - a guide to traveling here (there is one for each of the Olympic 2016 Candidate cities) 

I'm hoping some of you come back and let me know what you thought of the episode and how Rio and its women were portrayed. Can't wait to watch!

Let them have CAKE?

I would like to preface this post by saying that when the incident I am about to write about occurred, I had NO intention of writing about it. However, in the few days since it occurred, in talking with other people, it occurred to me that this is anything but an isolated incident, so I think it's worth mentioning!

Last week a well-meaning acquaintance fed Canadoca some cake when she was being held by another friend. She is not quite 6 months old now, and hadn't previously been given anything other than breastmilk. Put it this way - according to the books I'm reading (and my pediatrician) there are a few foods recommended for babies this age, and cake is not one of them. Not to mention that I am a bit anal about these things (food) despite being a pretty relaxed mom about other things, like, you know, traveling. For example, the night before, my mom and I were analyzing what would be the best foods to first introduce to Canadoca based on what her blood type is. Silly us, cake is the obvious choice.

Suffice it to say I didn't anticipate her first food being CAKE, and I had kind of looked forward to being around when she first tried solids, to see her reaction, you know... I figure I've earned that you know with all the late night feedings, giving birth, gear schlepping and gazillion loads of laundry I've done. These first are the fun parts, the mommy rewards if you will.  But no.  I also have severe (anaphylactic) allergies to nuts and shellfish, so I will be very careful when introducing certain foods to Canadoca because of the family history, baking is something I have to be extremely careful with. Anyway, the person did not mean to cause her any harm of course, as she did not see any issue with giving a five month old cake. Apparently it was par for the course for her. Got it.

I thought I was the only one who could possibly have such a bizarre incident occur, until I read Eric & Emily's post on another well-meaning South American trying to give their daughter cake, saying it couldn't hurt. Then a friend told me about how every time she goes for coffee, the barristas stuff her 14 month old full of chocolate when she turns her back to pay. You often see babies with bottles of chocolate milk, or perhaps it's milk and coffee, as in the story in Emily's post.

I get that nutrition is about personal choices and opinions and that South Americans have a different view on it than North Americans in many cases (do you really need fries, rice and pasta with your beans and meat? Not to mention no vegetables besides the beans...sugar in EVERYTHING) but I am really not okay with people feeding things to my kid without asking me first, especially when it could be putting her at risk. I also get that this is something we will have to contend with back home with people wanting to give her treats, but I didn't expect this to start before she'd even started eating. For now, cake will be officially listed as her first solid food in the baby book, no long term effects, and heck she even seemed to enjoy it. But I'll be more careful next time...  

New Pet PEEVE

One of the toughest parts of moving to Rio for me was becoming accustomed to seeing impoverished people on a daily basis. Growing up in Canada I certainly was not exposed to this, and I find it heartbreaking.

So, given the number of people legitimately in need in Rio, I am always flabbergasted to find University students parading up and down Ipanema beach on a regular basis, bodies and faces painted, asking for handouts. I have seen them looking for donations to finance trips, or simply as a rite of passage/initiation as they are freshmen.

Here are some examples:

So, let me get this straight... these people, who are supposedly educated, Brazil's future, you know, the whole bit... decide to paint themselves to beg for handouts on the beach instead of maybe, I don't know, having a bake sale as a fundraiser? I would be more inclined to help them out if they were picking up garbage or organizing something useful. Painting their bodies and walking up and down the street? When there are little kids legitimately on the streets a block away? Um, no.

Last time I encountered a large group of these individuals, I started chanting "Car WASH! Car WASH!" as I passed by.... I got the usual "check out the gringa" comments back... hilarious. But seriously people, ever heard of a carwash? Can someone explain this phenomenon to me?

The Magic Mountain Man

One of my friends lives in Lagoa, sort of across from Ipanema, in a building that backs onto a mountain. From her apartment, the views are spectacular, a view of Christo from nearly every room, the beautiful lake, the ocean off in the distance, and Dois Irmaos. She hosted my baby shower when Canadoca was born and my mom and sister still  mention the views on a regular basis.

However, as I've mentioned once or twice before, one never knows quite what to expect in Rio. The views she has the opportunity to take in are not limited to these panoramic scenes.

One day, she was looking out the window towards the mountain and she saw a man. Er, maybe I should mention that he was NAKED. At the time, she thought he may have hung himself in fact, but it turned out he was just doing some sort of yoga pose or exercise.

Knowing that it would be difficult for people to picture this naked mountain man, she decided to document the experience.

I thought about blurrinng these photos in select places but then decided that it would be best to show the mountain man in his true form. You know, maintain some sort of "journalistic integrity". Consider this your warning that there is FULL FRONTAL male nudity below.

 

It wouldn't be the last time she saw the mountain man. He reappears every once in a while, showing off his moves (he exercises in the nude on the mountain). My friend who sees the mountain man speculates that he does have to pick and choose which times of year to appear, as he wouldn't want to get a, well, sunburn...

So after hearing about this mountain man for over a year we were all quite tickled to see that he'd made the paper:

 

The article calls him the hermit of the lake, claims he lives alone in a cave, climbs trees to pick fruit, and is disconnected when spoken to (talks about God and the Devil).

Pera, anyone?

Pera = pear in Portuguese.

But this post is not about fruit, rather about body types and body image.

You have to hand it to the Brazilians - to generalize, they are incredibly laid back and accepting people. Internationally, the women have the reputation of being the most beautiful in the world and TALL (??) In reality there are as many beautiful people here as there are elsewhere, and literally every one of our visitors is surprised to find that your average Brazilian woman is quite short, and pear shaped. Or should I say - Pear shaped & Proud of it!

Back home, being pear shaped is not something one strives for. (Most prefer an hourglass). It's not seen as being a desirable body type. Here, there are special exercises at the gym that women do to beef up their bums and thighs. Back home, a pear shaped woman would be encouraged to wear a-line skirts. Here they wear a little belt to accent their waist and upper body, and the most skin tight bottoms they can to make their bundas look even bigger. After over a year, I am still not quite used to it.

That said, I think the more accepting Brazilian attitude towards body image is refreshing and much healthier. If I could pass just one "Brazilian" lesson on to my little Brasileira (Canadoca), I hope that's it!

Ela não esta com frio

I think I am going to make a flag that says this little slogan. Since Canadoca can't yet speak for herself and since apparently at least 5 people insist on harping on me that she is cold every time I leave the house. Yesterday it was 25 degrees and she was in the baby bjorn with me in a long sleeved shirt and pants with her feet in little booties. THREE PEOPLE stopped me in as many steps at the grocery store to tell me she was cold. One scolded me for having her near the refrigerated section in the store because it is apparently too cold for her. I'm talking full finger shaking scolding here.  If I thought that their criticisms had even the slightest amount of legitimacy I don't think I would be annoyed but it is truly ridiculous. She isn't cold. The third lady in as many steps got a very dirty look and sour response from me.

Some days I think it is definitely a good thing that I did not ever learn to properly tell people off in Portuguese.

Can you tell that it's been a year since I have been home?

Where are Canadoca's passports...

My Guestbook - Part 10 - PORTUGUESE

Part 10 of an 11-part series of questions I asked my guests after they visited Brazil.

Question 10: Which Portuguese words did you pick up while visiting Brazil?

Engaged Couple Friends: Please/thank you, "I don't speak Portuguese", and then food words, especially so we could order wine. The waiters thought it was funny that we knew how to say red wine.

My Dad:  The first two words two words my brother and I learned were obrigado (thank you) and desculpe (excuse me).  Typical Canadians eh.  What other nationality would do that.  Oh yeah, almost forgot, the third word we learned was cerveja (beer)  You really don't need  to know much more.....

(DRL's note: on pretty much a weekly basis I get a voicemail from my dad "practicing his Portuguese". The message consists of him saying "Oi, obgrigada, desculpe" over and over again in a booming voice. I always know who it is.)

Stocking Up

It has become apparent to me on several occasions that Brazilians do not typically "stock up" on household items the way North Americans do. Deep Freezers are less common, kitchens are tiny, and storage space is at a premium.

Living in rural communities growing up, we were stocker-uppers. When we'd visit the city, we'd hit Costco and other big box stores, and get not just the essentials, but items which were difficult to source living in a small centre. It was also a good way to justify all those trips out of town.

So, I realize I'm a bit of a packrat, and the Brazilians don't let me forget it either. Two examples just this week:

1) At Mundo Verde, I spot roasted pumpkin seeds. Since these are a great nut-like treat for yours-truly-with-a-fatal-nut-allergy, I buy two containers. They are not a snack I see everywhere here. The cashier ensures I realize I am buying two of the EXACT same item... by asking if I'm sure I want two things that are the same, no less than four or five times.

2) The other night I stepped out to buy DIAPERS. Going through a few of those these days... (diapers-in-Brazil review coming soon, folks). After being unable to find size P diapers for Canadoca in the brand I've decided I like at a few drugstores (good thing there are about 4 drugstores per block around here!), I finally spot a few packages at the Pacheco down the street. There are 10 in each package (about a day's supply), so I buy 4 packages.  The cashier looks at me, looks at the diapers, narrows her eyes looking puzzled, and asks me if they are all the same...

So my question is this: do people go and buy diapers every day here? Or what?

My Guestbook - Part 4 - All about the Brazilians

Question 4 on the DRL visitor survey: What was your impression of the Brazilian people?

My Mom:  I found the Brazilian people friendly and cooperative with the communication barrier, they like to talk to you whether you could understand them or not.

My Bridesmaid & Her Boyfriend: I found some to be very friendly and really try to communicate with us even with the language barrier, but others didn't want to even try to understand us.  We had really nice cab drivers the whole time though! That was a relief.

My Mother-in-law: Certainly noticed the difference in driving habits between the hired drivers and taxi drivers!  And now that Mr. DRL drives like a Brazilian, new shocks are needed for his vehicle!  Something to do with flying off speed bumps....

Engaged Couple Friends: It was hard to get an impression, because of the language difference. They certainly don't go out of their way to communicate with you. It really is true that they have absolutely no self-consciousness when it comes to their beach-wear! That speaks a little to the overall bravado of the people. But, the people in the stores and the vendors on the beach for the most part weren't pushy, while I had expected they would be for some reason.

My Dad: I feel sorry for the poor, lots of poverty.  They were not overly courteous on the streets, cutting you off, etc.

A Theory

I am expecting to get a lot of flack about this post. I decided to write it anyway.

Other disclaimer - no, I am not a psychologist or a sociologist. This is just based on my own observations, questions and thoughts. Okay so here goes...

At any park or public place that is children-friendly in Rio, the photo below (taken at Parque Lage) is a fairly typical sight:

In case you were wondering, it's not "mom's wear white" day. These women are wearing white to identify themselves as "baba's" or nannies. And you see more of them than you do mom's.

Since announcing my pregnancy, almost every single Brazilian I have had a conversation with has asked me if I intend to get a baba. I shock them all by responding that I have someone who can help with things around the house, and potentially with the baby, after a few months, for a couple of hours at a time.  I answer the "but how will you...??" the same way all the time - to me, it's my job to take care of the baby. I then joke that I certainly am not a martyr and am more than happy to have someone to help with other household tasks, and add that it is much more than I would ever have for help in Canada, so I feel very lucky.

Middle-class families often have baba's here in Brazil.  To generalize, most people who are in this line of work are not well-educated.

Back home, early childhood education is a major concern for most parents. Books such as Raise a Smarter Child by Kindergarten: Build a Better Brain and Increase IQ up to 30 Points (yes, I have a copy) are best-sellers, and parents seem to compete to see whose child will read/be toilet trained/count to 100/name countries around the world/write a screenplay first.  It is widely believed that teaching children these things very early on sets them up for success in the future and forever affects their ability to learn and process. Montessori schools are all the rage, and in some cities, parents get on waiting lists for the best pre-schools at the time of their child's birth. All in hopes that these actions will give their children a head start in life.

In Brazil, even amongst well-educated folks, and with foreign-educated folks, in my experience, there seems to at times be a disconnect as far as ability to think critically.  I may be mistaken and this may be a cultural difference and a preference not to.  In fact, Mr. DRL and I recently had a very interesting conversation with a Carioca who feels that the stem of Rio's problems is that everyone is too accepting of how things are - crime wise, corruption wise, a general lack of questioning things, and so nothing really changes.

But part of me wonders if this lack of critical thinking is in part because most of the population spends those formative years with primary caretakers who are not well-educated, in the case of the less fortunate, or by nannies in the case of the more privileged, who can't possibly be as invested in the child's development as a parent would be, nor are they well-educated.

Since it's inevitable this will provoke some response, let me invite you to do so - what do you think about this?

Our First Brazilian Wedding

After a year of whining that we haven't had much interaction with the locals, we were invited to a Brazilian wedding recently!

I found some of the subtle differences between this particular wedding and what we are used to back home to be very interesting. Of course I don't know if these particular differences are typical of Brazilian weddings, but seeing as how they are all I have to go by, I will write about them. Meaning: I don't intend to generalize that anything I saw was exemplary of what every Brazilian wedding is like, this is just my experience.

We arrived a bit late (the reason why is funny and will be featured in another separate blog post), but not by much, and were relieved that we didn't miss anything. We weren't sure what to expect in terms of how people were dressed, but they had pulled out all the stops. Most of the women were in evening gowns and the men all in suits. We had suspected we might be overdressed but in the end I felt under-dressed, but I figure that when you go to something full-term-pregnant, people are just impressed that you showed up and wore something other than pajamas or yoga pants, so my long dress was just fine even though I did not feel super dressed-up.

We immediately felt incredibly welcome, as the groom (who we had NOT met before) immediately figured out who Mr. DRL (I guess we gringos stood out) was and came over to greet us.

My favorite part of the wedding ceremony was the music - it was live, and the singers were awesome.

The groom was the first to enter the church, accompanied by who I assumed was his mother. They were followed by 18 other couples (I counted) who consisted of the bride & groom's families and close friends, who all stood at the front of the church around the couple as the ceremony took place. The bride and her father were the last to enter. Getting a good photo of the bride and groom was impossible as there were two videographers and at least as many photographers within a 5 foot radius of the couple as well, complete with blindingly bright lights.  Everyone was dressed to the nines and looked fantastic.

The service was of course in Portuguese and I did miss some of what was said, although from what I caught, the priest was almost more like what our MC's would be like at receptions, cracking jokes and telling stories about the couple's history and certain individuals who were in the "wedding party" (again, which consisted of 36 people!).

After the ceremony, the bride and groom signed the registry, made a small speech of thank-you's, and had the singers perform an additional song, to which they sang along.

Traditional rice was thrown as the couple made their escape from the church.

The reception was held nearby, and I thought the chocolates and cake displays were just gorgeous (see photos below).  A formal RSVP was not asked of us, which puzzled me, but when I saw the setup I understood why - there was not actual dinner but rather a small appetizer buffet, and waiters circulating all evening long with other salgadinhos, etc.

Two little girls caught sight of my very pregnant belly and came over to chat and hug the belly. They asked what the baby's name was and when I said I didn't know because I didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, they seemed quite puzzled. To be fair, that is generally the reaction I get from most Brazilian adults too!  They asked me if I spoke English and I said I did, and that I was a "gringa" - which they thought was the funniest joke they had heard in awhile and we all laughed for a good few minutes... so cute.

The "paparazzi" with the bright lights stalked the bride and groom for the entire night, which meant that even at the reception I failed to get a single good photo of them. But I am sure they have plenty.  The bride and groom circulated the room and greeted each table and took photos with all of us, and of course the belly got a kiss from the bride for luck, I assume.

Although we did make a bit of an early exit given my condition and the long drive home, we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and felt very grateful to have been included.