So our maid has been working for us for about 6 months now, enough time to feel comfortable and get into a routine you could say. We recently upped her to 2 days/week with all of the visitors and traffic that will be coming through our place. I figure I can always find something for her to do like wash sheets or cut up and wash fruit.
So now that we have taken her on for two days a week it seems as though she feels there is a difference in our relationship and that we are more her "employers" than someone she works for a day and a half a week.... it is straight out of the book How to be A Carioca - the maid starts bringing all of her problems to you, crying, looking to pull at your heartstrings to wring as much money out of you as possible.
She comes here on Tuesday's & Thursdays. Let's recap, shall we?
Last Thursday: She asked me if in addition to Tuesday & Thursday, I could use her services on Saturdays as well as she needs to work more because she needs some repairs done on her house (roof, etc.) I told her that we did not need this but I would ask around and if we were entertaining we would certainly consider it. Also, Mr. DRL & I decided we would give her a Christmas bonus early in November to help out with her household repairs etc. but we have not told her this yet.
Tuesday: She was upset because a friend of hers passed away. I offered my sympathies and suggested she go home early.
Afterwards, as much as I sympathize with her situation, am I starting to feel a bit "milked" as it's one thing after another and this is TEXTBOOK (How to be a Carioca is the official textbook, folks), there is an entire section on how the maid starts to take advantage after a certain amount of time and how you have to put your foot down.
Today: she arrive over an hour late, says basically nothing to me all day, even though I am convinced she broke my flatiron which will be impossible to replace here, and if not, excessively expensive. And my hair is in this wicked grow-out-the-bob phase so it really needs all the help it can get... But then decides to interrupt me while ON THE PHONE to ask about throwing out magazines (um, no, I am not that lazy that I would not just throw them out myself if I wanted them thrown out?). Then I walked by the dryer to see that it was on, empty (hello, fire hazard, not to mention that she had complained to me earlier about how hot it was in our house??) then she calls me into the living room at one point just to tell me that she is from Recife originally and that her father lives there and she has not seen him for 32 years. I enjoy talking with her and getting to know her and all and do not want to seem insensitive but I find it odd to be beckoned to the living room for her to share this information with me, and nothing else.
I am having an impatient-with-Brazil day. Yes I realize I sound like a whiner. Sorry. So I am probably being overly critical, but there is a certain humor to the whole situation as well...
Next she'll bring her ailing friends and family to meet you so you can see them and feel bad for her.
My ex' in Brazil has an empregada and her child comes every time and plays or helps her mom. My ex and her sis sit and chat with the empregada about life, etc but there is a line where she knows she's on the clock, so to speak (as its more of a contract) and has things to get done. The empregada at your place should be a good businesswoman and fill her open slots with other employers.
Posted by: Adam | October 23, 2008 at 03:06 PM
The soap opera that is having a maid is the trade off for the bliss of having help around the house. The dead relatives and children's school fees can't be far behind. Good luck and welcome to the club! :)
Posted by: Typ0 | October 23, 2008 at 05:41 PM
Thanks so much for citing my book How to be a Carioca. Ah yes, the joys of having a maid. I could fill this column with fun stories. To cite one: Friends of mine were having a dinner party and serving shrimp. The cook was concerned whether the shrimp was fresh so the patroa suggested she feed some shrimp to the dog to see if he would get sick (!). Half way through dinner, the cook whispered in the patroa's ear, "The dog died!" Alarmed, my friend rushed her guests to the posto de saude to have their stomachs pumped. As it turns out, indeed the dog had died -- run over by a car.
Aquele abraço bem carioca.
Posted by: Priscilla | October 25, 2008 at 02:05 PM
OMG to all above... too funny!
Priscilla thanks for visiting my blog I am so honored and have now bragged to all my friends who are a fan of your book! Our visitors have all really been enjoying the book as well. :)
Posted by: DRL | October 26, 2008 at 08:37 AM
Take it from me. She's onl doing all these things because you're a gringa and she thinks you're rich. Which you probably are, compared to her, but that doesn't mean you should be showering her with money. The "I haven't seen dad for 32 years" is probably a hint for you to buy her tickets to holidays in Recife - wheter her dad lives there or not.
But PLEASE don't tell me you believed all that sh*t from How To Be a Carioca. I've been one for more than twenty years, got said book recently and feel outraged at the huge amount of offensive and untrue stereotypes. It's not even funny. That lady said she'd been living in Rio for more than twenty years but, as many privileged foreigners, she clearly never really bothered to integrate (apart from learning some cliche slangs and phrases). Please don't treat that book as a guide. It's totally bullshit, apart from being completely dated.
Posted by: Lolla Moon | October 31, 2008 at 05:31 PM
Isn't there a Brazilian movie about the cleaning ladies? I'd love to see that, though, I can't remember the name.
Posted by: Hanna | May 27, 2009 at 07:48 PM