Rio + Eat, Pray, Love

I realize I was a little "behind the times" in reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (I just finished it a few weeks ago).  I think there was a reason for it. I identified with so many aspects of this book at this time of my life (there are of course exceptions ie) the divorce part!).  Eat, Pray, Love is the second account I've read from an American living in Rome in the past couple of months (As the Romans Do, which every foreigner living abroad should read, was the other one) and there are many similarities to life in Rio. 

I related to her struggles and joys of learning a new language, and with the sense of adventure in living in a foreign place, and being frequently alone in that experience a lot (in case you are new to the blog, my husband works a lot!), and the learning that takes place in this situation.

I yearn to relate to the experiences she had at the ashram in India, difficult but freeing.  People tell me all the time that I should become a yoga instructor, but I don't feel as though I could do it without spending YEARS in India learning from a master... plus I don't know the first thing about meditation so I would need to work on that first...

Her experiences in Indonesia have the strongest Brazilian connection, however.  No spoiler, I promise! However there is a section of the book I want to quote from, which leads me to another point about Brazil... a point in the book where Elizabeth suspects a friend might be taking advantage of her, financially:

"You need to understand the thinking in Bali.  It's a way of life here for people to try to get the most money they can out of visitors.  It's how everyone survives..."
I cringe at this for two reasons.  First of all, I hate to think this could be true... second, I hate the cultural implications under his speech, the whiff of colonial White Man's Burden stuff, the patronizing "this-is-what-all-these-people-are-like" argument. But Felipe isn't a colonist; he's a Brazilian.  He explains, "Listen, I grew up poor in South America.  You think I don't understand the culture of this type of poverty? "
...
"What should I do?"
"Don't get angry about it, whatever happens... This is her survival tactic, just accept that. You must not think that she's not a good person,or that she and her kids don't honestly need your help.  But you cannot let her take advantage of you.  Darling, I've seen it repeated so many times.  What happens with Westerners who live here for a long time is that they usually end up falling into one of two camps.  Half of them keep playing the tourist... and getting ripped off like crazy.  The other half get so frustrated with being ripped off all the time, they start to hate the Balinese."

Since we have been in Brazil, I have witnessed this first hand.  My husband and I now refer to it as "the code" and I have seen some Brazilians protect one another (i.e. in providing each other income, via foreigners) to the point of their own detriment.

Examples:

• Resistance or refusal to even consider importing/buying goods outside of Brazil in a corporate setting.  Insistence that they must be bought here even when they are three times the price, usually not of as good of quality and not necessarily essentially needed ... (although I must say "foreign company money" is obviously viewed a lot different than out of Brazilians' pockets money because the motivation to bring in electronics for personal use by my husband's colleagues is huge.... poor guy once had to bring a "gift" of a dual action breast pump for a colleague's wife... yes I went and picked it up for him back in Canada... could have kissed the clerk when she asked me if I wanted a gift receipt. Ok I am now WAYYYY off topic). 
• Price negotiations.  When looking for apartments (and recently even when looking to just rent a place for the weekend) - we are given a price.  We ask if this is negotiable? We are told that these things are not generally negotiated.  We say ok fine, the price is too hight, we will pass.  Suddenly it's negotiable...  why aren't we just told this in the first place?
• Recommendations from colleagues are always to the most expensive hotels, restaurants, etc.
• Recommendations from colleagues are always to the most expensive furniture stores, etc.
• Hiring very expensive services (now that we have price compared we know that we can get a full day of driver service for what we used to pay for 2 hrs... etc...)

I would understand this if we were dealing with a third party but I am talking about dealing with people either we employ or the firm my husband works with employs... who I generally expect would have our best interest in mind, but no, stimulating the economy of  "Brazil as a whole" seems to be a higher priority than even maintaining personal credibility or arguably even one's own job.

Coming from the land of "it's every man for himself" seeing this unity and love and concern for one's country in action is admirable, yet I see it as "winning the battle and losing the war" - why not make Brazil an easier and less exorbitantly expensive place to do business, lessening barriers to entry such as these would stimulate the economy and eventually everyone would be better off, instead it seems like a big fast-cash-grab... and does nothing to build Brazil's credibility as a decent place to do business.

I by no means intend to paint everyone with one brush.  I also realize foreigners everywhere feel this way at times.  But when I see this happening in the corporate world in Brazil, it really makes me wonder...

Comments

[Corinne]

Unfortunately there is a common misperception that gringos have money to burn and I have run into that a few times (in Rio and Minas and also a lot in Costa Rica). Plus, the cariocas that you probably deal with are very image conscious and might recommend the most expensive "chic" places to show their own social status. I had a bit of the opposite experience, since I lived for 17 months in Rocinha doing fieldwork. I felt guilty having more money and was approached a lot for loans. Also I finally figured out that people in the favela just assumed that I would find simple cheap things and places unappealing, because they had a stereotype about what a gringo likes. In fact, I can´t count how many times the people living in the favela were shocked that I (an educated American) would dain to live among them and experience the simple life. Of course my middle class Brazilian friends all thought I was nuts and would not ever visit me in the favela.

I must say that being treated like I had money to burn happened more with middle and upper class Brazilians than with the poor.

Nevertheless, I agree with you that it is frustrating, but as you point out, it doesn´t refer to everyone (than goodness).

[DRL]

Wow, your experiences are so interesting!

[Lori]

We deal with the 'you are a rich (US) American' attitude a lot. I've decided that this is because of a lot of the exposure they have regarding the US. It is all movies and tv shows like Friends. They seem to think everyone buys $500 designer shoes and purses.

That couldn't be further than the truth for me. I am a major bargain girl and not into designer fashion at all. Plus, the cost of living in Maringa is almost the same as our home in the US and we are now only earning 1 salary!

We get sucked into the bringing things back too - baby things, electronics, etc. We tried to be helpful when we first moved down, but now the asking is out of control. My answer is usually always no unless it is something very small that will add no weight to my suitcase. I feel like it is inconsiderate for Brazilians to think that it is easy for me to carry 2 laptops and 20 extra pounds in my luggage when I travel back and forth by myself. The truth is, we live here now too and there are things we need to bring down for ourselves. Selfish or not, that is how I've started to feel about the situation.

[Corinne]

Lori I hear you about not bring back stuff from the US. I have been burned a few times (the requestor never picked up the goods) and I never seem to come out ahead on the exchange rate. I now reserve such favors for family and VERY close friends, and never a lot of stuff. I also ask people to bring stuff down, but only if they have room (I try to only ask for largish items for very close friends) and always order the item on-line to be delivered to the US person (having run all over trying to get an item for someone, I know what a pain it is). I don´t think you should feel guilty - there is now very litte you cannot get in Brazil, it is just more expensive to buy it here.

[Lisa the Canarioca]

I second everyones emotions in the above comments. I, too have been seen as the 'rich gringa'(couldn't be anywhere farthur from the truth) and that I have money to burn. After two attempts at starting a business with Brazilian business partners, I just gave up. OUr work ethics are as different as night and day. Does it leave a sour taste in my mouth? yes, but on the other hand I have met and dealt with wonderful people here, usually those with the least income.
I hate bringing back things for friends, my time is short back home and I want to visit family and friends and not be schlepping around to Costco and Best Buy. On the other hand, I love to bring back kitchen gadgets from Home Outfitters for my maid/saint. I could go on and on about how wonderful she is, but here in Brazil one must not 'brag' about the in home help as people are so 'wood faced'(cara de pau) that they are capable of stealing your help from under your nose.
I, too, read Eat Pray Love and I was bemused at the bit you commented on, it felt just like Brazil somehow.
Brazil really has alot going for it, but I can't see it progressing in the international scene as long as there is rampant corruption...

[Emily]

This all sounds familiar! I agree with the "gringos have money" stereotype. After we'd been dating for over a year, my boyfriend was quite surprised to learn that I was funding my trip to see him with money that I'd saved - my dad wasn't just throwing money at me! It's also different for tourists vs. expats. Something that for a tourist is a normal, US-priced meal, for example, is just as much of a splurge for me and my Chilean salary as for any other Chilean.

We just got back from a trip to the US, and I got a little annoyed with the requests to bring things back. Some people asked us beforehand and either paid via credit card and shipped the stuff to my house there or gave us money before we left, which was fine. But a couple people pulled the "oh, can you just get me something, and I'll pay you back" number, and I wasn't having any of it. They don't seem to realize 1. that I'm not in the business of lending money and 2. my suitcase is heavy enough, your items take up valuable space and weight!