Daily Life in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

2009 Expat Survey Results: The Best of Living in Rio

I thought I should put a feel-good post up for Christmas Day - I asked participants what the best thing about living in Rio is. My personal favorite things include the beauty, weather, the food, the healthcare, the fact that I can walk almost everywhere and that my friends live so close by, and that every day is a new, interesting adventure.

8 people declined to answer, but here's what the rest had to say:

• The BEACH (mentioned in 21 responses, longer responses featured below)
• The PEOPLE (mentioned in 11 responses)
• NANNY! (two responses)
• Relaxed quality of life
• The people, the weather, the views
• Weather and availablity of great, fresh food tie for the best thing
• The people I have met
• Its a big city and it is a colourful culture
• weather, beautiful vantage points, ease of getting taxis
• chic fashionable living - its cool man
• relaxed schedule
• Amazing and beautiful city, nice people.
• beach, sun, food, music, live in general, people
• beauty of city, social activities, availablity of travel to places close by
• I made some many friends from around the world. I also loved the ocean and mountains. I miss the beautiful landscapes everyday.
• The beaches, the sports facilities,
• The weather, the people, the beach, the lifestyle, the beauty, the help, the travel opportunities, the other expats.
• The people and the beach life
• it never gets REALLY cold
• My family here, the lifestyle, weather, geography, music, it's pretty liberal/open-minded, a happy place. I love that I can hear my neighbors when they are watching a jogo or when they are having parties...I love the energy here. You really feel and hear the excitement.
• The "help" in the house means I can really enjoy spending quality time with my children and husband
• Food, city itself, beach life, and more laid back living.
• Scenery and beauty of the city; beaches
• saving money and the fruit
• Adapting to the Carioca lifestyle...
• Outdoors all the time, beach is a way of life, going to the beach on Christmas day
• Warmth (I come from Aberdeen in Scotland) and swimming in the sea on an almost daily basis
• Home leave--just kidding. The Canasta Group.
• The Expat Community is so welcoming, find them and join things to make friends. But you can't beat living so close to the beach!
• Not living in the rat race of the good ole US of A - more relaxed
• Getting outside more or less easily every day, no car. Being next to the ocean, friendly people.
• the outdoor activities, the fruits and veggies!
• All of the fresh juices, along with a great variety of very tasty fruits and vegetables + many different options for physical and outside-activities
• the beautiful natural geography
• Buzios
• Acai
• Being outdoors so often and enjoying its beautiful setting. In an ironic way the chaos in Rio is also fantastic - rarely have I seen street parties be so much fun.
• Not having to work
• lanchonettes
• the culture
• everything is at your doorstep
• Being close to my husband's family
• The city is absolutely gorgeous. It has everything you can possibly want, beautiful beaches, great dining, all kinds of entertainment.
• Having an empregada, the fruit, the food.
• The pure geographic beauty of the city.
• Drivers, maids, capririnas on the mountain, Copacabana Palace, sitting on the beach with my girls, Canasta.....
• Going out very often!
• the people and the fruits

2009 Rio Expat Survey Results: Visits Home

'Tis the season...

I'm thoroughly enjoying my visit home - here is some good old Canadian Christmas scenery... from my mom's front porch. Merry Christmas Eve to those who celebrate it.

I asked the participants how often they return home to visit.

ONCE was the most popular answer, with 35%

30% make it home twice, 28% go three times.

5% make it home less than once a year while 2% to four or more times per year.

2009 Rio Expat Survey Results: Help Around the House

Most of the participants have help around the house. A mere 7% don't. 36% have help 5 or more days per week. Wow! It seems that most have help one (23%) or two (18%) days per week.

Oops

It's like I forgot I had a blog or something...

Canadoca, Mr. DRL and I are heading to Canada next week for awhile. It will be really good for my husband as although he was home last December and February for about 4 days each trip, the last time he was really there for a visit was almost a year and a half ago. Crazy!

I've been busy packing, visiting, and online shopping in anticipation of our trip. Oh and also spending hours making arrangements to make sure we fit everyone in. We watched the movie Four Christmases last night (it sucked, don't bother watching it), and with two sets of divorced parents (now grandparents) well, it's busy that's for sure.

We also had some visitors from Minas Gerais over the weekend - Eric, Emily and Gabriela came down. Canadoca and Gabriela are 3 weeks apart and enjoyed one another very much (and we really enjoyed spending time with Eric & Emily - they have some great parenting tips!)

Although I will be away, the blog will tick away with posts from our big fall trip to Peru/Argentina/Chile and of course the Rio Expat Survey results - last chance to participate!!!!!

Click Here to take survey

The Big Survey

I admit it, I've peeked. At the responses to my 2009 Survey of Rio Expats, even though the survey is not officially over. Thanks very much to everyone who has participated so far. You've inspired, entertained, validated and in a couple of cases reprimanded me! I appreciate all of the responses and can't wait to share them with you soon. Much like everything in Rio, I find there's very little "happy medium" - people either love it here or, er... don't.

For those Rio expats and former Rio expats (if you lived here in the past year or so) who have not yet had a chance to fill out the survey, I'm keeping it open until the end of the month in hopes of getting a few more responses. I'll start sharing the results in December. Click here to access the survey.

After 3 weeks away,

the water in our apartment runs a little rusty, as Mr. DRL is demonstrating

Mama's night out

Ever feel like things are just meant to be?

I went out on Halloween night, and left Canadoca at home with Mr. DRL (he hates Halloween, remember?) - the night was great, to the point that I really feel I was destined to go out that night. Why?

1. At 3 pm I had no costume, and was not convinced to go. By 4 pm my fairy godmother had outfitted me completely as a devil complete with red fishnets.
2. Canadoca isn't really known for her bottle taking skills. She was really good at it at first when we left her with my mom and sister a few times when she was a few weeks old, but simply has not had a lot of practice lately and therefore is not too interested when it is offered to her, we've been working on it so that I can have a break occasionally. But Halloween was her big night - Mr. DRL texted me a photo of her feeding herself a bottle! Sweet!
3. It was an almost-full-moon-spooky night out there, kids...
4. Finally, the real reason it felt like I was supposed to be there - there is another 20-something Canadian girl living here in Rio with whom I have several mutual friends. I knew she was going to be there, and one of my friends had previously said, "Oh you never know, you might know some of the same people back home." I thought mayyyyyybe... and thought of that old beer commercial, "Do you know Glen from Canada?" But it is a SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL, even in a city of many million people. This Canadian girl had guests in town, one of whom is a girl who I figure skated as a child, with in our little home town of 2,000 people. I was also in a play years ago with her older brother, and was in her cousin's class every year in Elementary school.... craziness. 
5. The Canuck coincidences didn't end there. I met another Canadian woman,who knows of my aunt and uncle and cousins who live in the same area of the lower mainland.

So... the coincidences were so great that I figured I should maybe buy a lottery ticket or something, but rather I think I was just supposed to go out!

Shoulda Coulda Woulda

Would have posted yesterday, except I really really couldn't....

Though the title of my blog is daily rio life, I don't often chronicle my daily life in Rio. Yesterday provided a few good examples of what you can expect, though, around the house in Rio at least, so I'll provide some details.

I got up and got Canadoca ready to take out to a playdate. I planned to walk, and take her in her stroller. Upon trying to leave my building, I realized that neither elevator was functional. I am on the 7th floor. I decided we'd take a cab, and took her in her carseat down the 7 flights of stairs.

When I returned home, my zelador/porteira informed me that the power was off. But only selected outlets/breakers. The elevators were included in that selection. He happily carried Canadoca in her carseat up the 7 flights of stairs to my apartment.  (And that kid is not exactly light these days).

I feel the need to add that if I had left my apartment even 10 minutes earlier, when the power was still on, the lack of power would have caused me to be locked out of my apartment until the lights eventually came back on, as I normally keep my stairwell locked, and it is the type of lock for which there is not a key to unlock it from the outside...  just sayin'...

I returned to the apartment to find lights working in about half of the rooms. However, I did not have use of my internal phone line to downstairs, my Brazilian landline, my vonage line, internet or skype, my washing machine, or lights in any of the bedrooms. Being that I did not really want to have to carry my child/stroller up or down 7 flights of stairs or have my porteiro do it again, I didn't particularly want to leave the house, either.  So Canadoca and I enjoyed some QT together! But who has ever heard of a partial power outage? Only in Rio...

Survey says....!

Well, we'll soon find out, won't we?

Introducing the first annual Rio Expat Survey!!

I've put together a survey for Rio expats in hopes of broadening the perspectives to share with people making the move to Rio. So please, Rio Expats, help me out! The more of you who participate the more it will accurately reflect Daily Rio Life...

Also - if you no longer live in Rio but lived here in the past year, I am interested in your input too.

The questions are all optional so feel free to skip any you don't feel comfortable answering. It is all of course anonymous so please be candid. I will keep the survey open until the end of November and begin sharing the data in December. 

Click Here to take survey

New on the site?

Click here to start from the very beginning... Note that in the past year and a half in Rio I have 1) Relaxed about a lot of things 2) Changed my mind about a lot of others. I figure I'm allowed....

Better in Brazil...

VACATION time.

Most Brazilians in the corporate world take like 3-4 weeks vacation every year. I should adjust that statement to say "in a row" - which is more accurate. I don't think that most expats do, however. But to the Brazilians, it's normal. Most of Mr. DRL's coworkers here in Brazil were shocked to hear that he'd never taken three weeks off in a row before. Most of our friends and family back home were shocked to hear that Mr. DRL managed to take over three weeks off in a row. 

I think this phenomenon explains a few things, namely:

• Why things move slowly here in many cases
• Why families are closer here
• Why people are happier here (hey they took a survey - apparently Cariocas are like the happiest people on the planet).

Either way - I LIKE IT. My husband was SO relaxed on our trip, the time away did him so much good and I think helped him gain perspective - in both personal life and career. Mr. DRL and Canadoca are as tight as can be after three weeks of non-stop time together. Daddy's girl! Last night when he came home from work after his first day back she started giggling like a maniac when she saw him, it was adorable...

So, whaddya wanna know?

I seem to have a number of new readers lately- welcome!

A project I've been talking about doing for a long time and have finally started is a survey of Rio's expat community. The point? To help out those looking to move to Brazil or those interested in expat life here. The survey is almost ready but before I add the link/send it out to my contacts, last chance to let me know what you'd like me to ask the group, in case there's anything I am missing. Leave your questions as comments to this post or email me. I plan to get the survey out in the next week or so.

Recent Inquiries & Responses: 2

A new little series on Frequently Asked Questions from readers, featuring my responses.

Questions:

How long have you been in Rio?

I’m curious and more then a little afraid of our impending move to Rio for my husbands job.. We have 3 kids, and it frightens me a bit about how they will adjust. As for me, will I be more then lonely? I anticipate the adventure, but still I am worried.

Have you enjoyed all your time in Rio?

What sort of things would you think would be important for us to ask his work for in the moving package?

My Response:

I have been in Rio since March of 2008.
Coming to Rio is certainly an adventure.
I would definitely try to get your kids' schooling covered by the company. It is EXPENSIVE here and even private school education here is not up to par with public schooling we are accustomed to back home (Sad, I know!)

With kids you will probably also want a driver, large apartment and possibly some help around the house. Try to get this and your utilities all included in your package if possible. This is all quite standard for expats. Also either an allowance for household items or a shipment (although they take months to arrive/clear customs sometimes). Also most importantly of course - health insurance! Our plan was terrible when we first arrived - didn't even cover me having a baby (we quickly switched).

I doubt you will be lonely or bored here. There is a vibrant expat community, and SO MUCH to do.  You will definitely miss some of the comforts and I expect family/friends back home. Although the Canadians are eager to escape the cold and come visit, in my experience!

 I expected to make Brazilian friends as well, but that has not happened for me, but that said, people with kids seem to have more luck with this (parents of their kids' friends, etc.).

What "Aga Essie Bay Say" Has to Say About Us Expats...

(That's how you pronounce HSBC in Portuguese).

A few months back I encouraged expats who read this blog to participate in the annual HSBC expats survey. I find the results interesting and figure the more expats who participate, the more accurate they will be.

Click here to download the full report.

Not a ton of interesting stuff, but here are two key items that caught my eye:

• Brazil (or rather Brazil's expat community) was ranked #18 for Quality of life in terms of Expat Economics, #16 for increased savings, #24 for possession of luxury items, #21 for income and #17 for disposable income.
• 68% of expats report that they are saving and investing more than they did previously living in their home country.

Rub a Dub Dub

I read an article recently saying that people who have been expats score higher on creative problem solving tests (have you ever taken a creative problem solving test? I wonder what's involved...?).

Makes sense to me as often improvisation is needed in these scenarios.

Here's Mr. DRL's "bathtub" he made for me. Which is what you do when you live in an apartment with four showers and no bathtub. Good thing the one in our ensuite is big enough to hold this baby pool!

INC

There are several clubs for foreigners to join here in Rio - the International Newcomer's Club, the American Society (which apparently welcomes more than just Americans). I am not a member of any of them but have been to events. Every year the INC has a big fundraiser, last year it was a fantastic event called the Taste of Rio. This year, they are having a 50's style party.

Here are the details I received:

"Let it Rock", the INC's major fundraiser for 2009 will take place on September 18th, 2009 at the Paissandu Club in Leblon. Tickets are now available for this fantastic event so reserve yours now!

The theme is - you guessed it - a 50's rock and roll party, so come dressed in your favourite poodle skirt or Elvis get up and you may win the grand prize for best costume! However, if you don't feel like getting your 50's garb out of that closet-feel free to dress comfortably for dancing till the wee hours......But, remember, those of you that are Elvis impersonators or Marilyn Monroe look alikes-now is your chance to show it off! We will have lots of fabulous raffle prizes, great music from The Midnight Hour Band with Neville Thorley for you to "rock around the clock" to, and.......drinks dinner and more dancing.............all for the low price of R$100 per person! Remember, the proceeds from "Let it Rock" will go to fund the InC's charitable contributions for next year. So, come, for a good time and a good cause!

 For more information contact Jackie Stern: Tel: 2540-0958
Cel: 9361-2009
Email: jdb@amcham.com.br

 For tickets contact Cathrin Becker: Tel: 2495-1808
Cel: 9103-4564
Email: membership@incrio.org.br

Putting the the "Canad" in the Canadoca

Mr. DRL's aunt sent Canadoca a very cute little bit of Canadiana couture. I think it may have brought us luck!

If all went well, the Canadoca are currently somewhere over Brazil, flying back to Canada. And yes, she's probably about to actually be COLD for the first time in her life.

How did this turn of events come about?

No, we still do not have a Brazilian passport for her. However, there has been some sort of policy change with the Federal Police and a birth certificate and Canadian passport will suffice. Typing this is a bit tough being that my fingers are crossed that this works...

In order to see as many of the VIPs in our life, Canadoca and I are spending time in Calgary, the interior of BC, Vancouver and Vancouver Island.

I am obviously THRILLED to be going home but there are a million emotions running through my system about this trip, for many reasons.

• Firstly, it is my first time flying since the Air France crash. Losing two friends in this crash changed my outlook on flying, and really, life in general. I am also a bit nervous about flying over potential bad weather systems, given the recent incident Continental has. 
• It's Canadoca's first time on a plane and I will be alone with her! Mr. DRL is not joining us. Which means he will also not be there when his family sees Canadoca for the first time, which saddens me. I am also anticipating that almost 3 weeks without his baby girl is going to be very hard on Mr. DRL....
• I am sure that having her meet our friends and family will be soooo incredible but part of it is so sad for me too because I know how difficult the goodbyes are going to be. So I am trying to just focus on the hello's. :)
• Frustration is also an emotion I am feeling, as I am being pulled in a million different directions to satisfy everyone's need to have time with her. I hate feeling like I am hurting people, and am a pleaser, trying to accomodate people and make them happy. The way I see it, basically every moment I spend with everyone is a moment someone else does not get with her. I understand where everyone is coming from and want to give them the time they want, but some people are making this easier/more difficult on me than others. I have a lot of "expat guilt" about depriving people back home of time with my daughter since we live so far away.

Upon returning (assuming I got to leave), Mr. DRL and Canadoca and I are heading to Peru and Chile for our first family holiday. In the meantime, enjoy some regularly scheduled posts that I have been frantically pulling together while Canadoca "naps"...  and I'll be checking in from time to time to moderate comments. 

The FIRM

Just had to share this little story with you...

Many of my friends and acquaintances work for a company that I will only refer to as "The Firm".

In my opinion, The Firm controls a few too many details of their lives, mostly disguised as perks (mortgages, invasive medical exams, drivers who monitor and restrict their movements, safety training that scares the heck out of people, and rules rules rules). Don't get me wrong, some of these things are incredibly nice and convenient and I have certainly appreciated when I've benefited from my friends' situations, but the reality for them is that there are times when they come at a cost (mostly privacy).

The Firm has a policy for everything, and from what my friends tell me, there is very little deviation from the policies. Meaning, every situation is not handled individually, with a brain.

My example: a friend came to Rio to live in temporary housing (which is another story altogether... after living here much longer than a year she and her husband, daughter and large dog are still in cramped temporary furnished housing, simply because they were not initially intended to be here longer than a year... as per the Firm's policies, can't make an exception...) which meant she was not sending a shipment of furniture. Her family did, however, want to have bicycles in Rio. Shipments = expensive. Our friends suggested to the company that perhaps it would be more cost effective to just purchase them some bikes (which could then be company property, or whatever). Instead, the Firm shipped their three bikes in a container which cost $5,000.

I realize that to buy the family bikes could have set a precedent that could get out of control, but personally I think this is the kind of stuff that should make shareholders livid. I could give endless examples. Expats are NOT cheap.

Mr. DRL works for a small company and we are the only expats. There are benefits and drawbacks to this. The benefits are that the expat policy is basically nonexistant so we make it up as we go and as needs arise. The drawbacks are that there are very limited resources for us, but that has meant we've just had to get resourceful ourselves!

Because You Wouldn't Want to Have to Get Up...

... or do anything for yourself...

... or speak to your maid...

This bell to summon the help is on the floor of a friend of mine's dining room.

Therapy for Frustrating, Homesick Days

It's sad that people get spoiled. I'm one of them. You know it's bad when you realize what a great place you live in when you look at your guest's vacation photos from when they came to visit:

 

 

Walking to Arpoador is good for the soul.

South America West - our fall vacation.

Has anyone done a chilean cruise? If so, recommendations? Warnings? Anyone done Machu Piccu recently and might have some recommendations? We are thinking of going in the fall to do both with Canadoca - any travel tips with kids/hotel/tour recommendations appreciated!

Canadoca's Brazilian Passport

She has her dress picked out:

but will she get to wear it? (Dress is from Fabula - a children's boutique here in Rio).

Canadoca's aunt is getting married two weeks from today somewhere in Canada. Will we and the Canadoca be there to show off her mad air guitar skills (aided by mom)? Not sure. Why? No Brazilian passport yet.

To be fair, this should have been a fairly easy process. IF we had already received our Residency Cards, which we applied for over a year ago.

I was told by other gringoes to make an appointment at Shopping Leblon at the passport office and that from there on it would be quite simple and we'd have the passport within days. Our appointment was in mid-June.

We arrived at the appointment accompanied by an agent from the company my husband's firm employs to take care of passport and visa issues. When our name was called, we were told that since we didn't have our Residence Cards yet, we could not be issued a passport at that office and rather we would have to go to the Federal Police at the International Airport. This was frustrating for two reasons: 1) Mr. DRL took the day off work for this appointment, but more importantly, 2) Our agent should have realized that this was the case since they were involved in applying for our residency cards.

The next day, we headed to the international airport. A different agent met us there and asked us what we were there for (!! I am not even going to go there.... I am just not...) and basically stood around. Mr. DRL dealt directly with the officials, who told us that our presence wasn't really required, we could have motoboyed in some forms, and that they would need to launch an investigation into our daughter's birth since we don't have our residence cards yet. We were told that this would take about 30 days. Around this time the agency also admits that there was some sort of error or mix-up on their part with our application for residency cards. Strike three.

We are now applying for permanent citizenship based on the fact that we have a Brazilian child. Which will apparently take about another year, but allows us to work here, for any company, rather than being tied to the company because it holds our visa. Nice to have flexibility for sure.

However, currently we are waiting to hear if the signatures from FOUR doctors present in the delivery room are enough to prove that Canadoca is ours. I have heard horror stories of people having to undergo DNA testing in this scenario so we are hopeful that their word will suffice (I guess I should have opted for the birth video at the hospital!). 

Clearly our agency dropped the ball. I just hope that it can be retrieved in time, so that we can attend Mr. DRL's sister's wedding, and so that he can be there when his family first sees Canadoca. (I'm going home once the passport is issued, regardless, but he is only going to go if he can attend the wedding).

Lessons learned:
1) If you are a foreigner having a child in Brazil, make EVERY effort to ensure you receive your residence card before the child is born. It will save you a lot of hassle.
2) Carefully check the reputation of any agency you entrust with these matters. This particular agency deals with many companies here and seems to do a great job with the actual workers' visas/passports, etc. but drops the ball when it comes to the dependants/families. I know another woman whose husband works for another company who was stuck in the US for WEEKS earlier this year because the same agency made mistakes with their family's visas.

English Speaking Private Schools in Rio

Sending kids to English private school in Rio is NOT CHEAP. Most expats I know who have children include school fees in their compensation packages. See below, it's quite the perk...

Here is the link for the American School http://www.earj.com.br/

Escola Americano Tuition schedule for the upcoming school year:

2009-10 Academic Year

Monthly tuition payments due the 5th  of each month, to be paid in 12 monthly installments:

3 day per week Toddler program:                      R$ 1.585,00
Pre-school half-day:                                            R$ 2.171,00
Pre-school   extended day:                                 R$ 3.193,00
Lower School (Kindergarten to 5th Grade):      R$ 3.942,00
Middle School Fees (Grades 6 – 8):                   R$ 4.281,00
Upper School Fees (Grades 9 – 12):                 R$ 4.873,00

Capital Fee: US$ 6,500.00

The Capital Fee, paid once for every child who is enrolled in 1st grade or above, is used to support investments in technology, facility renovations or other special projects.

Bus fees currently range from R$ 293,00 to R$ 408,00, depending on the route.

Lunch ticket: R$ 11,00 per day or R$10,00 for monthly contracts.

British School: http://www.britishschool.g12.br

2009 Monthly Fees
Pre-Nursery (Part-Time)     R$ 1.963,00
Pre-Nursery (full time) & Nursery     R$ 3.007,00
Reception to Class 4     R$ 2.759,00
Class 5 to Class 11     R$ 3.367.00

Entrance Fees

An Entrance Fee is charged at the time a child enters the school. Entrance Fees contribute to the school’s Development Fund which is maintained strictly for major development projects. Use of this fund is controlled by the Board of Governors. Entrance Fees are as follows:
Entrance Fees
(1st January – 31st December 2009)
First child     R$ 16.747,00
Second child     R$ 10.766,00
Third and subsequent children     R$ 8.374,00

My Guestbook - Part 8 - What has changed about Mr. DRL & I since Moving to Brazil

Part 8 of a series of questions I asked my guests after their Brazilian vacations.

Question 8: What, if anything, has changed the most about Mr. DRL & DRL since leaving Canada?

My Mom: They are more relaxed, even though I am sure Mr. DRL's work can be quite a challenge, they are enjoying the experience and will never be the same again!!! Also, a bit of a change with preparing for baby's arrival.

My Bridesmaid & Her Boyfriend: Um, well aside from them both speaking another language and learning how to live in a completely opposite society they are still the same people we all know and love!

My Mother-in-law: We love the self-confidence they have attained by having to deal with Latin energy and language issues.  Such an interesting life they lead, when a breakfast meeting with a politician is just another day at the office.  Again, DRL's Portuguese is amazing.

Engaged Couple Friends: About 3 kilos!   :-) We were so excited to hear the news!  (DRL Note: at the point of their visit, 3 kilos was the extent of the baby weight gain!)

My Dad: Hard to see in two weeks but hopefully they've realized how fortunate they are to be from a country like Canada.

Nice for Moms in Rio

It sure is nice to have a new baby here - in a culture where people really put energy and effort into putting the little ones first. An example from today that I'm pretty sure would NEVER happen back home...

So I went to the Ipanema 444 mall (the one with all the great kids' stores) to make a quick exchange (sidenote: this was also NO PROBLEM at all despite no receipt, etc.) when Canadoca had a bit of a meltdown. See, she has entered the stage of not liking having a dirty diaper at ALL. Quite the progress considering two weeks ago she couldn't stand having it changed, my how we've evolved! Okay back to the story!

So there I was with my screaming child in the mall, frantically looking for a bathroom/place to change her. Couldn't find one. Decided to put some protection down on my stroller and bite the bullet and change her in there. Just then, a woman poked her head out of one of the stores (I wish I knew the name of it, it is the one that only has boy things in it!) and invited me to come into the store to change the diaper. On the display case.  Yes, we put things down, but still! Can't imagine that happening back home! She also entertained Canadoca and helped me calm her down. So awesome. I will definitey return and buy something for my nephew there soon.

Second - if you are in the neighbourhood and looking for a place to quickly nurse your baby without having to go into a restaurant or something, there is a lounge in the back of the main floor of Shopping Rio Design. Comfy leathery chairs. A bit of privacy, not much. I will soon cover the baby station in Shopping Leblon which is quite fantastic...

Stocking Up

It has become apparent to me on several occasions that Brazilians do not typically "stock up" on household items the way North Americans do. Deep Freezers are less common, kitchens are tiny, and storage space is at a premium.

Living in rural communities growing up, we were stocker-uppers. When we'd visit the city, we'd hit Costco and other big box stores, and get not just the essentials, but items which were difficult to source living in a small centre. It was also a good way to justify all those trips out of town.

So, I realize I'm a bit of a packrat, and the Brazilians don't let me forget it either. Two examples just this week:

1) At Mundo Verde, I spot roasted pumpkin seeds. Since these are a great nut-like treat for yours-truly-with-a-fatal-nut-allergy, I buy two containers. They are not a snack I see everywhere here. The cashier ensures I realize I am buying two of the EXACT same item... by asking if I'm sure I want two things that are the same, no less than four or five times.

2) The other night I stepped out to buy DIAPERS. Going through a few of those these days... (diapers-in-Brazil review coming soon, folks). After being unable to find size P diapers for Canadoca in the brand I've decided I like at a few drugstores (good thing there are about 4 drugstores per block around here!), I finally spot a few packages at the Pacheco down the street. There are 10 in each package (about a day's supply), so I buy 4 packages.  The cashier looks at me, looks at the diapers, narrows her eyes looking puzzled, and asks me if they are all the same...

So my question is this: do people go and buy diapers every day here? Or what?

Dia Dos Namorados

Yesterday was Dia Dos Namorados here in Brazil (much like Valentine's Day). I figure if Mr. DRL gets two Father's Days (one on Sunday, then Brazilian Father's Day which is in August), two Valentine's Days is fair game.

Although Mr. DRL did a great job getting some lovely treats for both Canadoca and I, I received the best gift he ever could have gotten me was the night before...

Just before bed, I asked him in passing when Dia Dos Namorados was, as I wasn't sure of the date. I knew, however, that it was close, the displays in the stores are unavoidable of course. He ducked and grinned and avoided eye contact, cleared his throat, saying: "Uh, I think sometime in July..." I immediately knew something was up, and figured it must be close!

The next morning he woke me up with gifts. Which I completely appreciated, don't get me wrong! However, the best gift that my husband could ever give me, I had already received the previous night: proof/validation that he is a really bad liar.

Anyone do anything fun to celebrate?

The Canadoca

In the delivery room, long before our little pumpkin made her big debut, one of the obstetricians (yes, one of them - I had three there at all times!) started calling the baby the "Canadoca" or Canadian Carioca.  I had of course heard of a "Canarioca" before being that there is a blog by that name... so now I have decided to refer to out little bundle by that name on the blog, rather than Baby DRL.  So now you'll know who I'm referring to..

Babymoon part II

I had promised to write up my stay in Florianopolis/Santa Caterina awhile back, finally I am getting to it!

First of all, I would just like to say that if you have a week to do a sidetrip from Rio, I highly recommend this Buenos Aires/Florianopolis combo that we did. We felt as though we'd "travelled" ie) explored a new city, and "vacationed" - relaxing in Floripa, all in one week.  A full week of doing either would be "too much" in my opinion, so this was fantastic.

I was a bit confused when we started booking our trip - were we going to Florianopolis, Santa Caterina, or Floripa? All three... SC is the state, Florianopolis is the main city on the island, Floripa is the nickname. I had at some point made notes to visit all three - recommended by different people - so it was nice to kill three birds with one stone ;)

We flew into Florianopolis at night, and really did not experience any of the city as we immediately headed out to our Pousada. It was about a R$100 cab ride from the airport.  In hindsight, renting a car from the airport would have been a better option for us, but I will get to that later...

We stayed at the Pousada da Vigia on the north end of the island.  We were absolutely THRILLED with the service we received there, and with our accomodations. They were sooo great. Even let me order off the kids menu :)

In our room.

We enjoyed our resort SO MUCH. It was small, just 10 rooms, a governor's mansion converted into a hotel. Below is the view from our room.

The restaurant was overlooking the ocean and we enjoyed all of our dinners there listening to chill music (a lot of Sade) and the crash of the waves.   How could you help but relax?

We spent many afternoons on this patio (above) listening to the waves, reading, playing scrabble, enjoying lunch...

The water was so peaceful, clear and calm - great for floating.

Each day at 12:30, the peace and tranquility of Lagoinha beach, where we were staying, was temporarily disrupted by "the pirate boat" - which we figured was either inhabited by 

a) the severely, permanently intoxicated or 

b) actual pirates threatening passengers to "walk the plank" if they didn't keep up with their dance moves, or 

c) a hypnotist show. 

Either way, those pirates had everyone moving!

 On Saturday we decided to venture out and do a scuba/snorkel tour of Arvoredo Island,  a nature reserve located off the north coast of the island of Santa Caterina.  Obviously Mr. DRL did the diving, I stuck to snorkeling.  I was a bit nervous about him diving as it had been 2 years since his last dive but was very relieved when one of the dive masters spoke perfect English.  All he really needed was a 5 minute refresher but as we often say, there are certain things where you can't afford to have misunderstandings with language barriers! It was muito tranquilo.

The boat ride out to the island was about an hour.

After the scuba trip we spent some time "in town" at Canasvieiras beach, but quickly realized we were not missing much back at our isolated little spot... but enjoyed lunch there nevertheless.

It seemed we parked right in front of the beach's "geriatric" ward... looked around for the senior's center but couldn't see it:
  A storm seemed to be rolling in but it blew over quickly. Made for some great shots though!

After lunch, we embarked on another adventure that is deserving of another separate blog post. I am not yet sure how that story ends though as I am still dealing with some of the repurcussions today, so I will save it (nothing too bad just a company we were dealing with, etc.). I don't want to ruin the tranquility of this post so I will keep it separate.

We enjoyed every moment in Florianopolis, we realize we did not see much of what the island is all about, being up in our little isolated corner, but for our purposes we didn't mind. We read, spent time together, named our baby, walked the beach, swam, ate, and soaked up every moment. It was the most relaxing few days we'd had in quite a while!

DRL's Pregnancy Guide: Food - Part 3

Rio has been a wonderful place to be pregnant. Plenty of places to walk and swim, and I've been over the legal benefits and general bow-down attitude towards the "gestantes"... it's been great.

It's also been a optimum place to have a healthy pregnancy - here are a few Rio treats that have contributed to my well-being, if you are prego, pay attention.

1) ACAI. Of course. Nutrient-dense, refreshing, high in antioxidants, fiber and protein. Also, did you know that eating acai helps your body absorb omega fatty acids?

2) COCONUT WATER. Refreshing when you are dehydrated, comforting when nauseous... and incredibly beneficial if you suffer from swelling.

3) PICANHA. Let's face it, many pregnant women suffer from low iron.  Eat red meat with something rich in Vitamin C to absorb more iron.

4) YOGGI. Frozen yogurt was definitely a favorite treat...

5) FRUIT JUICES. When you can't drink anything more "fun" it sure is nice to be drinking the best juice ever (and watching it be made right in front of your eyes) - available in more flavours than you will find time to try.

Closer to the end of pregnancy I heard about the benefits of the following items:

6) PINEAPPLE and EGGPLANT. Both plentiful and delicious here, in fact I have never eaten so much eggplant as I have since living here in Rio - it is often featured as appetizers/couverts in restaurants. According to a number of sources on the internet, eating these two items can help bring on labour...

7) WATERMELON. Seems to be amazing year-round. I read recently that Halle Berry swore by eating it after she gave birth, as it helped her shed excess water retained. I mean, she was Halle Berry to start with, but I figure this is worth a shot.

Why We Were Late for the Wedding

Alternate title: why you should always make your exits while driving in Brazil. (Well, to be fair, anywhere, but this was quite an extreme case and it happened in Brazil, so...)

The wedding we attended recently was held in a community we were unfamiliar with, north of Barra. As Mr. DRL had enjoyed a glass of wine when we went out for a quick pre-wedding salad & appetizer, and Rio has a zero tolerance policy for drinking and driving, I drove. He is also a much better navigator than me, so this worked well. Well, for me anyway.

As is often the case, the turnoff we were supposed to take was not as clearly marked as we expected, and so we missed it. We immediately realized it and looked for a "returno" - of course there were none in sight. We soon approached a tunnel, and realized it was 2 km long. At this point Mr. DRL was getting agitated as he was the navigator. I was still finding the situation quite funny (yes, partially because for once it was not my fault!).  We came to the end of the tunnel and still there was no returno. But there was a toll booth.  Which we of course had to go through. Twice. (Once on the way through, then again on the way back once we had finally located a returno...)

Again, to reiterate - catching your exit can be VERY important! Especially if you want to avoid hitting a long tunnel and toll booth twice!!! Both times unnecessarily...

Don't forget your JAMMIES

I thought I had done a pretty good job of bringing everything I'd need for my baby's arrival that would be difficult to find here/expensive from North America. But I must have morphed into a mom from the second I got pregnant, as the baby has more sleepers than it will probably get the opportunity to wear, whereas I realized I was lacking in the "PJ's to bring to the hospital" department.  (i.e. camera-okay, good coverage, yet possible to nurse in).

So I went shopping. Brazilians must not be big on the pajama thing as the pickings are slim, and expensive. Being the fantastic deal finder that I am, I did finally manage to find a couple of semi-cute, reasonable things, but it was very time consuming. Most women's pajamas that I found in Rio were about R$150, which is about US$75.  Just not quite what I am used to paying, especially for something that I don't feel is good quality. 

I also have been unable to locate nursing tank tops. Oh the poor men who read this blog...

So don't forget to pack your jammies, kids! You don't want to buy any here!

Survey says...

I would like to do an informal survey of expats here in Rio, to provide some info and insight and different perspective to the blog. Recently I made a page on the blog about things that were hard to find in Rio and it seemed to be a hit, the expats I knew were willing to share trade secrets which was great.

If you are an expat living in Rio and interested in participating, either send me your email address to dailyriolife at gmail dot com, or in the comments section of this post. If you are an expat in Rio I am already in touch with, I already plan to send the survey to you once I get it all figured out ;)

All others: what are you interested in learning about expats in Rio? What questions would you like answered? Leave your suggestions for survey content in the comments section.

Thanks!

Our First Brazilian Wedding

After a year of whining that we haven't had much interaction with the locals, we were invited to a Brazilian wedding recently!

I found some of the subtle differences between this particular wedding and what we are used to back home to be very interesting. Of course I don't know if these particular differences are typical of Brazilian weddings, but seeing as how they are all I have to go by, I will write about them. Meaning: I don't intend to generalize that anything I saw was exemplary of what every Brazilian wedding is like, this is just my experience.

We arrived a bit late (the reason why is funny and will be featured in another separate blog post), but not by much, and were relieved that we didn't miss anything. We weren't sure what to expect in terms of how people were dressed, but they had pulled out all the stops. Most of the women were in evening gowns and the men all in suits. We had suspected we might be overdressed but in the end I felt under-dressed, but I figure that when you go to something full-term-pregnant, people are just impressed that you showed up and wore something other than pajamas or yoga pants, so my long dress was just fine even though I did not feel super dressed-up.

We immediately felt incredibly welcome, as the groom (who we had NOT met before) immediately figured out who Mr. DRL (I guess we gringos stood out) was and came over to greet us.

My favorite part of the wedding ceremony was the music - it was live, and the singers were awesome.

The groom was the first to enter the church, accompanied by who I assumed was his mother. They were followed by 18 other couples (I counted) who consisted of the bride & groom's families and close friends, who all stood at the front of the church around the couple as the ceremony took place. The bride and her father were the last to enter. Getting a good photo of the bride and groom was impossible as there were two videographers and at least as many photographers within a 5 foot radius of the couple as well, complete with blindingly bright lights.  Everyone was dressed to the nines and looked fantastic.

The service was of course in Portuguese and I did miss some of what was said, although from what I caught, the priest was almost more like what our MC's would be like at receptions, cracking jokes and telling stories about the couple's history and certain individuals who were in the "wedding party" (again, which consisted of 36 people!).

After the ceremony, the bride and groom signed the registry, made a small speech of thank-you's, and had the singers perform an additional song, to which they sang along.

Traditional rice was thrown as the couple made their escape from the church.

The reception was held nearby, and I thought the chocolates and cake displays were just gorgeous (see photos below).  A formal RSVP was not asked of us, which puzzled me, but when I saw the setup I understood why - there was not actual dinner but rather a small appetizer buffet, and waiters circulating all evening long with other salgadinhos, etc.

Two little girls caught sight of my very pregnant belly and came over to chat and hug the belly. They asked what the baby's name was and when I said I didn't know because I didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, they seemed quite puzzled. To be fair, that is generally the reaction I get from most Brazilian adults too!  They asked me if I spoke English and I said I did, and that I was a "gringa" - which they thought was the funniest joke they had heard in awhile and we all laughed for a good few minutes... so cute.

The "paparazzi" with the bright lights stalked the bride and groom for the entire night, which meant that even at the reception I failed to get a single good photo of them. But I am sure they have plenty.  The bride and groom circulated the room and greeted each table and took photos with all of us, and of course the belly got a kiss from the bride for luck, I assume.

Although we did make a bit of an early exit given my condition and the long drive home, we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and felt very grateful to have been included.

 

Dealing with the Boss' wife

... is apparently much different here in Brazil!

A couple of years ago, I had an idea to do a book about the phenomenon of the boss' wife in small, family-owned businesses. The idea stemmed from observing the behaviour of my boss at the time's wife, and also looking at the wife of a family member's boss and a friend of the family whose husband owned and ran his own company.  In all three examples, the boss' wife was not an integral part of the day to day business activities from the staff's point of view, but felt as though they were because of their contributions in various ways. The stress of owning or running a business is rarely left at work, and often taken home. Usually they "knew too much" - notably the negatives of the staff's performances, as their husbands would vent frustrations at home.  Yet they didn't get the full perspective or both sides, as they weren't in the office on a daily basis.

In my opinion, all three women at times felt as though they did not get enough respect from their husband's staff or acknowledgment for their contributions, sacrifices or involvement. This, combined with only hearing the negatives, caused them to at times treat the staff members coldly. That said, the smart employee in any of these three organizations knew that to mess with her was worse than messing with the boss himself. Not that it stopped people. Soooo not a smart move.

That said, despite their frustrations, I don't think any of these three wives ever experienced what I did on Saturday night.

Here in Brazil, my husband is second in command in the company he works for.  So here, I find myself in the role I was so interested in before - yet from a different perspective - the boss' wife.

Before I get into it - I realize there are some significant cultural differences between women back home and women here in Brazil. I realize it is considered kosher to talk openly and directly about people's weight and looks here in Brazil, whereas back home the same conversation could be considered catty, judgemental, inappropriate and in poor taste.

I can't imagine this ever happening back home: one of my husband's employees asked me how much weight I have gained over the course of my pregnancy. I responded. Her response was that it was too much, I had gained 5 kilos more than I should have. This was in a social setting, in front of several people. Days from my due date.

Maybe it's just me, but back home, I think that most people would be wayyyy too terrified to say something like that to their boss' wife. 

As a sidenote, I have gained more than the Brazilian doctor's recommendations. However, I am still well within the North American recommendations. I realize that I am not exactly looking my best these days, and did not need reminding, especially not from a member of Mr. DRL's staff.

Where to Move... Where to Move...

When our time in Brazil is done (in about a year, maybe more) we are not sure what our next move will be. Mr. DRL will not be going back to the position he had before (which was known to us when we took this opportunity). Before we moved here, we lived in Calgary, AB, which is where Mr. DRL and his family are from. I am originally from Vancouver Island in Canada, and am still a westcoast girl at heart. Most of my family is in BC as well. Although I tolerated living in Calgary for a few years much better than I expected, enjoyed it in fact, and have amazing friends there who I miss constantly, I don't particularly want to move back there. I cannot imagine living there for the rest of my life, never could. Especially because I know we'll always spend time there, being that the family is there. Where would I like to move instead?

1) Vancouver
2) San Francisco
3) Seattle
3) Portland
4) Somewhere in Europe

Mr. DRL is getting more on the Vancouver bandwagon by the day. He is even considering cheering for the Canucks in the Stanley Cup Playoffs now that the Flames are out. This fits perfectly into my plans (yes, you caught me, I am doing "Mr. Burns" from the Simpsons hands between typing on this particular point).

However, I realize that in the end, making this change will not be easy. (Yes, even after moving to Rio...) So I have started a "reasons not to move to Calgary after Brazil" file. This is what I've come up with just today alone! Imagine how thick the file could be after a year!

1) This year, the last week of April, it was forecast to SNOW every night. EVERY NIGHT.
2) Apparently many people living there feel that breastfeeding in public is akin to pedofilia. Click here for more details.
3) Alberta seems to be dealing with some sort of identity crisis. $25 million was just spent on a new ad campaign that at one point features footage of children running on a beach in England.  A tad misleading, methinks. (If you are looking for beach, do not go to Alberta. You will be sooooo disappointed).
4) When we were in Calgary in August last year, it snowed. Okay, maybe it was September 1st. Seriously! SNOW!
5) It's cold. It's dry.
6) See point #3. How am I supposed to adjust to this after living in RIO?
7) My personal feeling on Calgary is that too many people who live there are there solely for the $. Which is kind of drying up these days... Hm...
8) Did you happen to catch the Flames' performance in the playoffs this year?

Maybe I just think the grass is greener elsewhere... ?

Training the Help

"Having help" takes getting used to. I know that's not what the folks back home want to hear, but it's true. If I were not in the apartment as much, I think it would be much easier, but it is still very awkward for me to be around when someone is here cleaning, after all this time.

I don't enjoy "managing" our help. I figure the job is pretty simple; clean the apartment. I do not think that when I have a maid in twice a week I should on a regular basis be able to find cobwebs and dust bunnies. Maybe that's just me. Maybe this happens occasionally because of my lack of a training system. 

My lack of a training system consists of pointing things out every few times the maid comes. Please, could you not put that filthy dustpan on top of my dry-clean-only five lb chenille blanket? Thanks. (No wonder I sneeze every time I go near it.)  Would you mind cleaning the toilet once a week? Thanks. Could you please dust this shelf?

Recently, we cut our cleaning lady back to one day per week rather than two, and hired another person to work for us 1-2 days a week (also cleaning, but she will help with the baby as well). So far, it's working well. The original cleaning lady is great at doing the "hard clean" - windows, floors, walls, etc. but I think she was starting to slack off a bit. In fact, since we cut her back she has done a better job than ever. I trust her (to not steal, etc.) but would not have felt comfortable ever leaving the baby with her. Why? If someone is to be trusted with my child, they have to be straight with me all the time. Maybe I should illustrate this point. I have a few examples...

• About a month ago, the maid was cleaning around my desk. I was in the other room using my laptop. Under my desk is a large surge protector that has a huge red button that can easily be bumped, turning the unit off. She obviously hit it accidentally while cleaning, as my wireless internet immediately died. I went over to the desk to correct the situation (which required me to get down on my hands & knees and crawl under the desk). I would not have said a word to her had I not been extremely pregnant at the time - as I assumed in my state I looked quite funny doing this - but since I did, I just said that oh, she must have accidentally bumped the button. She adamantly denied having bumped the button. Keep in mind I have never gotten upset with her over anything that has happened or given her reason to be fearful for her position, etc. nor was I even annoyed at the time. Until of course she denied it. I felt like asking if we should be searching the house for an intruder? Who else bumped the button? Come on.
• A few months back, I was doing a yoga pose that requires me to use water to make my arms and legs more slippery to fit my arms through my legs while in lotus position. I had advised the maid since the beginning of her time with us that she was not to use the "passar bem" (literal translation: iron good) spray on my clothes when ironing them, as I am allergic to these products, but she could use it on my husband's things. I provided her with a spray bottle of water with lavendar oil for my stuff. I was using the water spray bottle on my arms & legs for the yoga and suddenly started getting incredibly itchy. I smelled the contents of the "water" bottle and compared it with the passar bem, they smelled eerily similar...  very sneaky. I was not impressed. When I confronted her about it she promptly dumped out the spray water bottle, I guess to "prove" it was just water (or to destroy the evidence...)

So as much as I don't think she will steal from us and think she does a great job cleaning, she is NOT taking care of my baby! I don't even want to think about what could go wrong that I would never know about. The new girl we hired is doing a great job so far, mostly laundry and more organizational/household random stuff, and she is very sweet.  I can definitely see myself leaving the baby with her for a couple of hours at a time once it's a few months old. She is also willing to be flexible with evenings in case Mr. DRL and I ever want to go out on our own. 

One thing I really liked when we met her - we asked her where she lived and she told us she lived in Rocinha. Many people who live in favelas are not honest about this point, so I found it very refreshing that she was. She came recommended by a housekeeper of a friend.

Before she started, I did a quick internet search of ways to train help around the house. Recommendations varied from spending an entire week shadowing them and showing them how you like every single task done to letting them take the lead and correcting afterwards. I think option one is pretty OCD and takes away the point of having someone come in, although I am sure that the person is very well trained afterwards. I can't be bothered.  I think the happy medium is somewhere in the middle. Lay out expectations, empower them to do the work themselves, correct when necessary. Or am I out to lunch?

My new idea for managing my help is going to be having a bunch of sticky notes in a file with various tasks that need to be done (above & beyond the standard "clean") and putting them together in a see-through envelope for them the night before so that they know what needs to be done.  Also a good way for me to practice portuguese, etc.

What do you think? Any suggestions for best practices in training hired help?  What has worked for you? What hasn't?

Sad Week

Last week was a sad one for me. I was glad to have had a few posts pre-written for the blog.

One of our favorite couples moved away (back to the US), and we learned of the sudden, tragic death of one of our friends, a very active woman in the expat community here in Rio, of an aneurysm. 

It is said that people come into our lives for a reason, or a season. As expat wives, we tend to bond quickly, and why not? We are far away from friends and family, in many cases not working, in many cases our husbands work extraordinarily long hours. We understand one another's concerns and frustrations, and are often able to help one another out.  That said, being that it is a small community, we also often end up hanging out with people with whom we don't necessarily share morals, values, or much of anything in common. So when you find someone with whom you really jive, you hang on tightly.

Like many of the women I have met here, I connected with this particular friend immediately, in fact I had featured an article about her on the blog in the past without knowing her. It truly is a small world.  
Age has never been something to affect who my friends are, and why should it? Despite the age difference (she was older than my mother by a few years), we had much in common. I will forever treasure my memories with her of sharing cooking tips and recipes, taking her to the Asian market here in Rio, her reaction to finding out I was expecting, her introduction to "Gunther" (I get an email: "Is this guy for real?") and of course the beach days. Talking to my friends here in Rio, what I am realizing is that we all felt this way about her and our relationships and connections with her, which goes to show how talented she was at making everyone feel special and important to her. What a gift. 

She was a trendy dresser and an incredibly beautiful woman. At her age, most women would not be comfortable in a bikini but considering the shape she was in, it would have been a shame not to wear one! She had washboard abs going on! She had a gorgeous smile and a kind word of encouragement for everyone she met. 

I was always inspired by her drive to learn new things, be it the IBEU class she took her last month in Rio (the same Portuguese school I attended last year) to improve her skills even after spending several years here, learning new ways to cook, or facts and places to know around Rio and Brazil.  

She was an powerfully uplifting source of encouragement to me in the short time I knew her. She read my (public) blog regularly and told people about it all the time. She wanted me to write a book about living in Brazil.  She was very excited about our baby's arrival, in fact in our baby's closet there are already has a few things from she and her husband that I will certainly cherish. She called me her "culinary inspiration".  All of the fuss she made over Mr. DRL (she referred to him as "that cute husband of yours") and I made us feel incredibly special. She and her husband joined us in our Camarote (box) for Carnavale this year, memories I will forever cherish.

I hope that she knew how inspired I was by her and her incredibly young, fun spirit and zest for life.  I thought it would be hard enough to miss her for the summer while she was away, it is very difficult to accept the reality that she will never be coming back. The last two times I saw her, she was the picture of health, in fact I noted that I had never seen her look better. She just seemed to have a glow. It just goes to show how precious life is and how we cannot take anything for granted. The way in which she treated people and made them feel is surely a lesson to us all.

I wish I just had a chance to say goodbye.

Since her death I have gathered together the little notes, cards, emails, and tokens that make up a friendship and will certainly treasure these memories. On such occasions, I am glad for my inability to every throw anything away.

Goodbye, my friend. I will never forget you.

Today, a group of us took the opportunity to honor our friend at the Lagoa.

Sense of Humour

Today while at the gym, my husband made a comment to me that I was "turning Brazilian" as I'd failed to catch the sarcasm in the comment he'd made a minute earlier. As much as I think I'm far from "turning Brazilian" I do think that my sense of humour is changing.

For example, the film "Pineapple Express" was a box office hit last summer and still continues to be one of the top rentals on iTunes every time I'm on there. I don't get it. I couldn't sit through it, in fact. Am I getting old? Am I missing something? Am I so disconnected from North American culture? Does anyone really think that it is funny?

Come to think of it, it's been a while since I watched anything I found hilariously funny. Which saddens me - I love to laugh. Anyone have a good recommendation?

Has your sense of humour changed since becoming an expat?

Expat Teens or Parents of Expat Teens - Expat Scholarship!

I always think to myself that expat kids and teens are very lucky to be exposed to another culture so early in life - and that their experiences will make for great discussions in college and university entrance essays!

Here is an opportunity for them to brush up on writing about these experiences, and maybe even make a little cash for school - I received notification of this opportunity through a newsletter and thought there might be some readers interested.

If you are a student between 12 and 18; get a chance to win a Scholarship by participating to an essay and creative media contest: http://www.expatyouthscholarship.com

The “Life in a Flying House” essay and creative media contest organized by Clements International (an insurance company), offers participants a chance to share their experience living in a foreign country through a combination of words and images. The theme “Life in a Flying House” is inspired by the idea that students, whose childhood is spent moving between different countries and cultures, develop a rich life experience.

Essay
500 words or more (in English) describing how their life has been affected by living as an expatriate.

Creative Media
Photographs, illustrations, paintings, or video illustrating the topic of the essay.

Eligibility
Students (ages 12 - 18) of any nationality who have spent at least two years living outside of their home country.

Full-time students of any nationality who have spent at least two years living outside of their home country are eligible to apply. 

Categories & S cholarship Awards

Category One (Ages 12 -15)
1st Place          $3,000
2nd  Place         $1,500
3rd  Place          $  500

Category Two (Ages 16 – 18)
1st Place          $3,000
2nd  Place         $1,500
3rd  Place          $  500

Contest Entry Deadline
Friday, May 15, 2009

Scholarship Recipients Announced
Mid-September 2009

Barra, Shopping.

Today Mr. DRL and I went to Barra to shop for some things for the old apartamento.

Many people have told me that if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.

It's probably a good rule.

So I am not going to say not-nice things about some people's driving skills, or about the lady who decided to butt into line in front of me while I stood there - 9 months pregnant, the lack of order or apparently air conditioning in one store, disgruntled parking people, the guy who left his car blocking an intersection while he went on foot over to pay said disgruntled parking people, the fact that we could not get our car washed at one place because we were told it takes 2 hours to wash three cars, or the fact that we were told at the end of the day that it was "impossible" to ring in a basket that we'd found at one store (which was the only perfect sized and colored basket for this particular spot we need a basket for that we found after searching three stores) despite it having two tags including bar codes AND a price label clearly stuck to it. Nope. Not saying not-nice things. Just saying the facts. It allllll happened, and I am sure there was more but I am too tired to think.

Instead of saying not-nice things about these incidents, or going into any more detail about our totally exhausting day, I will just wish you a Happy Easter.  So Happy Easter!

Worried? Who's Worried?

Many friends and family back home have expressed concern about us having a baby "so far from home" - who will help us? Won't it be lonely? You won't have anyone checking in on you!

Here is the reality of the situation.

I am not going to name names but there are three ladies in particular who I have met down here, all fairly new-Gramma's, who keep me in line. As in, make me go to bed. Don't allow me to lift anything in their presence. Cook a lot of good food...  Examples? Sure, I have examples.

Exhibit A) I was in Buzios for the weekend with some friends, and emailing back and forth with one of these friends who was back in the US at the time, about a few (okay a tonne of) items I had shipped to her home which she had so kindly offered to bring down (thanks again!!!).  At some point in our texts back and forth she indicated that she had calculated the time difference and it was high time I should be in bed!  It was about midnight.  (As a sidenote, I must stay up most nights to even see my husband - he gets home at like 10:30 at night! I find it very funny slash depressing to be skyping with friends and family back home and realize that most people there arrive home before Mr. DRL does - and we are 3 or 4 hours ahead of these people, depending on which timezone they are in).  The same woman asked me early on in my pregnancy if I was taking enough vitamins when I was tired one day :)

Exhibit B) I returned an email to another friend I'll call "L" at 10:25 pm a couple of weeks ago.

The response came within moments:

On 25-Mar-09, at 10:29 PM, L wrote:

What are you doing up this late? A pregnant woman needs her sleep!

Sent: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 10:34 PM
To: L
What, now you! (Harassing me about my bedtime!) haha I love it, so funny.

Minutes later, the actual topic of the email was answered, and I was left with this closing:

Go to bed!

Exhibit C) This one is the funniest and most persistent. Last week I hosted the weekly "Canasta" game.  I was asked repeatedly if I was up to it in "my condition" and I honestly wonder if people were discouraged from going in fears of putting me out, as we had a small turnout! Anyway I was quite spoiled with help and now some items are at my house which we will need next week and I emailed this woman, the next hostess (K), saying I would bring these items by her place.  Here is the response I received today (picture a very strong Southern accent, it makes it better):

From: K
Date: April 9, 2009 12:22

I can have my driver pick them up I DO NOT WANT YOU TO CARRY THEM AROUND!!!!!  Do you understand that.

I also have received the following emails from "K"

From: K
Date: March 10, 2009
You be careful walking around and watch the area you are in.  Got it!

From: K
Date: Feb 18, 2009
I will not be at the beach on Thursday, but if you go don't get to much sun!  And don't get around L,  don't want you to get the bug she has had.

I saved these emails in my baby emails folder and they totally crack me up every time.

So anyone who was worried shouldn't be - these ladies have it covered! And the concern is well-appreciated.

Belated Blog Birthday

A week ago Friday, the blog celebrated its first birthday!
In the past I year have published well over 500 items, articles and notes. 
I highly doubt I would have kept up the motivation to keep it going every day if it weren't for the feedback, support and even criticism of my readers, so thank you all very much!  

For new readers, as I mentioned above, there are a year's worth of entries to check out, so have a look through the archives and categories for things I may have already covered that you'd find interesting.

Happy reading and thanks again! I love hearing from you all.

DRL

More on Electronics...

I bet people can't believe the amount of trouble we've had with appliances and electronics here. But yes, there's more. And a go-with-the-flow solution to it, too.

Last week my fridge started freezing everything. Solid.  It was turned onto the lowest possible setting. I tried unplugging it and plugging it back in, playing with the settings in the low range a bit, nothing seemed to work.

I decided to put it on "Max Cold"  and it now seems to be working like a charm. Go figure.

Have Your Say

HSBC surveys expats annually - I figure the best way to keep these surveys accurate is for us to all participate, click here to link to the survey.

I Heart B.A. part 3 - The Shopping, and Why I was A CHEAP DATE. For Once.

"I came from the people,
they need to adore me,
so Christian Dior me,
from my head to my toes...
I need to be dazzling,
I want to be rainbow high!"
-From the song Rainbow High from the musical Evita...

Well the only one getting Christian Dior'd and subsequently Rainbow High on our trip was Mr. DRL. (My super pregnant self is definitely not in any designer duds these days... but I will post about my pregnancy wardrobe soon... another topic altogether!)

After taking in the cemetery, we wandered around Recoleta and eventually into a Christian Dior store, where Mr. DRL bought himself 2 gorgeous suits and of course the accompanying essentials.  He looked like a million bucks and was as pleased with himself as could be. Who could blame him (with the tax refund we received at the airport I think he ended up paying around US$300 per suit. Altered. Unreal!)...

A second reason I was a "cheap date" in Buenos Aires - we do not know the gender of our baby, we are waiting until it's born to find out.  Buenos Aires has some incredible shopping for children's clothing. I particularly loved the stores Patisserie (couldn't find a web site which is really too bad as I'd love to order things from them in the future... but here is a youtube spot on them, and a print ad), Mimo and Cheeky.
Admittedly, we did buy a few things.

What did I buy for myself? A wrap sweater, a hand-stamped leather purse, a bit of jewellery... I'd say I exercised some great restraint! Being this pregnant definitely helps...

Although I did buy some OREOS and also some Jorgitos. (If you have read the blog for awhile you might remember I loved those little dulce de leite cookies that I discovered when we were in Iguazu. Yes, this time I stocked up.)  I also bought chocolate covered raisins as I haven't ever seen them here in Rio. On buying cookies and food - I must say the Carrefour store we went to in BA (it was in a mall) was absolutely amazing - so many amenities. I am told the Carrefour store out in Barra is not quite the same. 

Conversations with my Nephew

My nephew is hilarious. I tell everyone. He has a full fanclub of people who want to meet him (friends of mine), quite the special kid. 

He would like a baby BOY cousin, he's told us.  Fair enough, since he has a new sister. Time for another boy in the family. I told him no promises but we'd do our best.

Recently I have been receiving a lot of skype calls from him. I am not sure if it's my sister in law's way of trying to distract him from playing Wii and add some variety to his day or if he legitimately wants to talk to me a lot.  I'll take it either way. Sometimes he scans a picture he's drawn for me and sends it, other times our conversations revolve around his "tips" for me from his Wii games.  But the other day, he definitely had something on his mind.

"Auntie, you don't send me MAIL anymore.  I have not received any mail from you since I turned four!"

"Yes, I know...  I have not been very good at sending mail.  I'm sorry. I had no idea that you appreciated the mail I was sending so much!"

"I sent you something in the mail because I don't get mail from you anymore," he says.

"Well that was a smart thing to do! If you want someone to send you mail, you should send them something in hopes they will respond," I told him.

I then told him I'd sent him something a week or so ago, in a green envelope, which got him so excited that he wanted to drag his mom out (in the snow) right that minute to go check.  I convinced him that it takes a long time for mail to arrive from Brazil and that it probably would not even be there tomorrow.  (As a sidenote, we have been finding mail takes a LONG TIME.)

Then I got to thinking about the last piece of mail he received from me... which was two Wii games for his fourth birthday.  I wonder if he now associates "new wii games" with mail.  I figured I'd better step it up from the stickers and magnets I send him on a regular basis. I once found a little Brazilian maze book fom a corner store here which was a big hit.

I found a web site called Print Activities which has printable puzzles and activities for kids. I figure if I send a maze or something as well as the stickers I can get off of the s&*t list pretty quickly... as long as the Brazilian mail system cooperates!

I also found this coloring page from this homeschooling page which has a picture of the statue of Christ for kids to color.   Funny sidenote - Cafeina has coloring similar pages for kids to do here and when our friends were visiting and we asked the two year old who she'd colored, she said: "Daddy!" As you can imagine he loved that one...

Leaving on a Jet Plane...

We expats rely heavily on those jet planes! A cute article on the actual travel part being the bane of an expat's existence can be found here.

Airline service just seems to be getting worse and worse. Although my recent trip home with Continental went very smoothly on the way there, the way back was a different story, with inept on-board servers, a piece of the plane falling off the ceiling and nearly hitting me in the head during take-off, topped off with the crew discussing recent plane crashes during a particularly turbulent takeoff.  I exaggerate not. Which seems grossly unfair considering a regular passenger would probably be arrested for choosing to go on about that particular topic of conversation. At 27 weeks pregnant and exhausted, I didn't exactly have unlimited patience by the time the last incident occurred...although I certainly had more patience than this guy!

But really, what matters is that we get there in one piece, right? Which is why a law is being put forward to change the amount of time pilots and crews have to rest between flights. I'm all for pilots being well-rested. Read more here. 

Worried about delays? This article details the destinations with the most delays. The quick version - airports in India, Casablanca, Orio al Serio Airport near Bergamo, Italy, New York LaGuardia, Newark Liberty International, Birmingham Airport in England, London's Luton and Heathrow Airports. Just FYI - Some South American airports were omitted from consideration for this survey ;)

Air Canada is notorious for being early to jump on the bandwagon for charging customers for items previously provided, but now they are apparently changing their tune, offering to pay you to get bumped from your flight, via Optiontown.com.  Not surprisingly, it is anything but an easy quick process.

Ah, well.  We just feel fortunate to get to go places, right?  Especially if you're in North America, flights to Europe are cheaper than ever! New York tempts me more and more every day and the looks of this new $10 million Lufthansa Lounge in JFK airport just make for one more reason to go... 

Finally, to close on the topic of air travel, has anyone watched Bravo's "First Class All the Way" ?  Travel reality show?

Canada Complaints

I came across an article for expats moving to Canada the other day and it inspired me to do a bit of research about what frustrates expats about living in Canada, to put myself in their shoes.   Which in this case means switching from Havaiana's to Sorels...

 

This is the time of year when everyone in Canada seems to be complaining, because they are ready for winter to be over! (It's one facebook status whining about the weather after another).

I wanted to see if I would get as defensive about Canada's shortfalls as some Brazilians have about frustrations or just experiences that I have commented on. I started reading the blog So, Are You New Here, which is about an American girl living in Calgary. I like her observations and certainly can't say I've been offended.

It's true that I have not finished my research - I still need to read my Will Ferguson books that I brought back this summer to get the full picture...

I also purchased his hits How to Be a Canadian and Beauty Tips from Moose Jaw ...

But the real dirt was found on the boards...  On the British Expat Boards under the topic "What's Wrong With Canada?": (My comments are italicized in brackets).

1. They wear their trousers too short. (LMAO & Hadn't noticed this myself!)
2. Public bathrooms have big open spaces between the wall panels. (Hadn't noticed this myself, but find it funny because everyone finds Canadians to be such prudes!)
3. People will not tell you what they really think of you - they are way too polite.
4. Too many immigrants. (This on a board for potential expats!)
5. Its got a right wing Prime Minister who has George W Bush as his political hero. (sic)
6. Fast food servers who couldn't get your order right if their life depended on it. (Totally agree)
7. Horrendous cell / mobile phone costs. I mean come on, who pays to receive a call. (Multiple mentions of this and all are justified, totally true).
8. Too much deadly fast food. (True, but also a choice to eat it...)
9. Cinnamon with everything. (Really? I am HOPING this is true, maybe then I can find that cinnamon ice cream that I love so much here in Rio!)
10. If I may state the obvious, it's ****ing cold here. (True! But a person hopefully would know this before moving there!)
11. They don't have proper bacon here. Just the streaky stuff. (There were a NUMBER of mentions of this - now I want to know what UK Bacon is like!)
12. Orange cheese....Whats that all about?
13. The radio. I now live in a place where they play Heart and other eighties soft rock on the radio. And not on golden oldie shows - as a normal part of the playlist. (Uh oh I am totally that demographic they are serving... I love Heart!)
14. All pizza features meat in some form. (Ok I am pretty sure this is just simply not true. All pizza joints I've ever been to have had a vegetarian or just plain cheese option).
15. There's still snow on the ground in April. (True story! But again... see #10.)
    
16. Tim Hortons coffee is pretty bad. (Agreed! Ok, not that I drink coffee, but everything there is awful besides a bagel.  I am Canadian and do not understand the Tim Horton's thing. The person who wrote #6 must have been talking about Timmy's...)
17. The standard of driving is dreadful, canadians may be polite to your face, but become rude arrogant &%#%# when in a car! (Agreed! Holy road rage. Don't even get me started on the tailgating truckers on mountain roads).
    
18. Poutine is truly gross. (I have actually never had poutine).
19. Inappropriate use of the "awesome" (Haha I believe it.)
20. Shops that dont open til noon on sundays.
21. eh! (No comment... )
22. The incessant droning of community helpers, unions, quangos, not-for-profit NGOs and special interest groups trying to get you to do something a particular way. (I've said many times that in my opinion, Canada is too socialist...)
23. Phone charges, homeless people, bank charges, crap driving, gangland violence, everywhere shutting early, interventionist government, institutional racism, jobsworth attitude, RCMP corruption, more homeless people.
24. Maple syrup in baked beans (I have not experienced this myself, but I am not big on the baked bean thing).
25. The KFC isn't as good.  (Ok I believe you.)
26. Cream cheese icing on cinnamon buns. (Now that you mention it, I miss this. Love cream cheese icing, but like cheesecake, not to mention baked beans and poutine, it's not for everyone.)
27. There's humour but it's different. Corner Gas, Little Mosque on the Prairie, etc. (Personally I don't watch these shows so can't comment).
28. Banks are the biggest rip of merchants out, all 5 big CDN banks I beleive are in the top 7 most profitable in the world. (True story!)
29. As much as it says you must be fluent in English or French to get in here its amazing how many people can get a job in the GTA with a complete crap grasp of the English language to the point you cant understand them, if your going to move to a country learn the lingo! (So true!)
30. I wish Canadians were more supportive of their own culture. (Another legitimate point!)
31. Canadians are obsessed with community events, helping their neighbours, and going overseas to contribute to/help less-fortunate people.

Interesting, for sure.

From the very tongue-in-cheek blog "Stuff White People Like" - #75 Threatening to Move to Canada

So, what was the verdict? Well honestly the complaints were pretty boring, except for the short pants one.  The rest of them - things I complained about myself when I lived there!

Resources for Women Having Babies Abroad

Some articles and pages:

From Expat Women - Some of the VERY basics On Having A Baby Far From Home.

Expat Moms Chronicling Raising Kids Abroad - features many of the benefits of living abroad with your kids.

The What to Expect and BabyCenter web sites are fantastic - you can connect with other moms, find out information about your baby's "evolution" as they call it here in Brazil, find names and more. They'll also send you weekly or daily updates on a variety of topics related to your pregnancy.

Podcasts - I've been listening to the Pea in the PodCast and the PregTastic podcast - both via iTunes.  They feature a variety of topics that may be applicable to what you are curious about.  PregTastic is a bit long and dragged out sometimes, as some of the women go into great detail about specific details of their pregnancies, which is helpful if you have similar issues or concerns and a bit boring at times if you don't.  The Pea in the Podcast is a bit more newsy and succinct, also features a weekly podcast with information on your specific point in the pregnancy.

If you are like us, a couple living abroad in a country where the native language is not your own, the idea of taking a birthing class in another language is more than a little intimidating.  I am willing to try to do pretty much anything else in Portuguese, but I believe that when it comes to health, it is best to have as few opportunities for misunderstanding as possible.  Where am I going with this? We opted not to take a birthing class in Portuguese.  Yes, we considered hiring a translator but thought it would make for some very long sessions that way, and let's face it, my husband's work schedule hasn't been super-accomodating.  You're wondering what my big solution is, right? I started looking for a DVD of a birthing class but found something even better and more instantaneous - a webcast! From a company called The Best Birth, on demand webcast.  When you purchase the webcast, you can immediately watch it, an unlimited number times for 90 days, from anywhere you have an internet connection. Sure, it would be nice to be able to take a class with other couples, but we saw this as the best subsititution for a birthing class while living abroad.

For a humorous take on a number of issues affecting moms - tune into the MomVersation - I first heard about it reading the Mighty Girl blog, which I love. It's pretty entertaining and these moms don't hold back! Click here for the Momversation web site.